The video..........

December 29th 2008
So as you see in the video at the very bottom from yesterday Joshua really was upset, it started because the window was down behind him and he got so upset, and then he really got mad because Jacob was humming a song. All in all it was just a bad trip to the store. But that is something that can happened daily multiple times a day, it does not happen as often now but many times it tends to happen in the car.
Now today he is so happy talking about anything and everything he can, he has cried a bit today only because he hurt himself. He was actually calling Jacob to come and play, usually it is the other way around and a lot of the time Joshua tells him "no thank you Jacob, I don't want to" or "leave me alone Jacob" but today he was actually the one initiating it, they played pretty much all day together pretending they are "Diego" saving each other from falling in the water, they are chasing each other all over the place and laughing there heads off. Right now they are in my huge bath tub, they love that tub it is HUGE not just a garden tub but a three person hot tub size (but no jets) they love playing in there, most of the time they get along but sometimes boy they can get mad at each other and then they start yelling (never hitting) and screaming I just grab my head and shake it saying "please stop" in my head some days it doesn't bother me but other days I feel like I am going to lose my mind, but I just have to reel myself in and remember to keep it together. If I think its to much for me I am calling my husband to take care of them and I leave the room. I am not perfect, I can not take all of the hyperactivity and yelling I have hard times, I think sometimes I am going to throw myself off a cliff, but obviously I haven't done it yet usually just when I am at my last straw I pray and GOD gives me strength and everything just turns around, I am human I am not perfect, I would never hurt or yell at my kids it is not their fault autism has came into our lives they are just a part of it like the rest of us.
I will tell you this it is only a few weeks since the stem cell injections, but Joshua has always had big beautiful blue eyes but lately they have been almost clearer I really do not know how to explain it, but they look at me with even more understanding, it almost sends chills down my spine when he looks at me because it is like he is looking into me now, and I do not mean sending chills down my spine in a bad way but in a heart touching was. But that is just me............
Ta-ta xoxoxoxo ~~~~Lori