Joshua's mommies blog "Our fight to help Joshua" whatever it takes xoxoxoxo!!

AB 162 The vote is today

2009-05-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

Today our legislature is on it's final vote for AB 162 this is a measure that will change our children's lives, it will make it mandatory for private insurance companies to cover autism and not discriminate against our children any longer, the vote is going to happen any minute now. I am praying we will be the 11Th state added to this new measure GO NEVADA!!!!!
On the home front it is quite right now both boys are at school and Gary is at a doctors appt. I am still in my jammies hahahahahaha, but will be getting up to start my day as soon as I pound this out. I do not officially start my new position at St Marys until next Tuesday, I thought it was this week but I only had one day of an 8 hour orientation, I do not officially start until the day after memorial day. Ouch in the pocket book we are missing out on a whole paycheck since I am actually out of work (the transitional phase I should say :) for 2 weeks. I was not planning on that............My 19 year olds car decided the catalytic system would go out too.....so we have to get that all fixed by the 26Th because he starts College (summer session) that day, and wouldn't you know it his mustang has 4 catalytic components and they all need to be fixed YEP that's right 4, I had no idea a car could have more then 1, that's what I get for thinking hahahaha. Over $1300.00 for repairs. I am not even going to comment on that..............................
Joshua is a little sick with a cold and cough yet again (so is Jacob) the poor little guys they are so stuffy they both sound like they are grunting when they are asleep, we give them decongestant but all it does is make their little noses run and they still are stuffed up at the same time, I guess it's better not to give them anything, they are not coughing really bad just a few here and there.
We had bought the Nintendo Wii system for Joshua to learn better balance, hand eye co-ordination and maybe give him a little more confidence. He is doing OK with it but he actually only wants to drive the Mario Cart and not play the bowling, tennis, etc.... Well he asked me to play it and I was all over the place at one point I was turned around driving the wrong way!! I hit every sand dune, wall, and anything else the game has............the boys laugh so hard they think it is really funny but I think I am getting a complex about driving now hahahaha!!! My husband gets on it and drives all over the place fine he doesn't run off the road into the water or slam into the walls or drive up the walls like me, I tried to blame the game but it doesn't work ........ I think I will stick to the Wii Fit and do the yoga.....YEP now that's more my speed.
As for Joshua, he is just Joshua, it is what it is for now. Hopefully AB 162 will pass and he can get the ABA therapy we think he needs, we always have we just could not pay the $2200.00 per month for the one program we have in Reno.
OK well that's it for now I will keep you posted on the results of the vote.
Love ya! Lori

I am back :)

2009-05-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hey there,
Well I have been off of here for about 2 months, during that time many things of course have happened good things. Our home is in the middle of a short sale and we will not owe any money to our lender or the VA, what a relief. Our Joshua is doing pretty well we have added a few things back into his diet and he has responded greatly, his attitude is doing great as well, we are the midst of cleaning his blood up and he is responding quite well. His vocabulary is growing and he is doing well in school. Do I think his autism is "going away" no ......do I think he is doing better then in the past? Absolutely! the children are all wonderful and in good health, what a joy in our lives!
My last day at my job at Renown Medical Center was on Mother's Day after 5 1/2 years. I start a new full time position at St. Mary's on Monday May 18Th....so no more 2 part time jobs YEAH!!! Back to working only 1 full time job just like it used to be last September. I have no complaints everything is good! Gary is going back to school for Software Engineering and I am continuing on in Respiratory Therapy to become Registered. My 19 year old is starting College this summer and then FT in the fall he is doing great.
Just a quickie update and I just wanted to say hi to all of you!!
Take Care and GOD BLESS!
Lori

R.I.P PAPA (my PAPA just passed away, he was a great man and loved deeply)

Oh I forgot.

2009-03-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

Thursday March 26th 2009

Oh yeah I forgot we are still in the midst of rebuilding our website it is going to be at least a month before it is up.

xoxoxoxox

Another day down, nothing to new

2009-03-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

March 26th 2009 Thursday

Hi all, well we got the MRT L.E.A.P test results back a few days ago, it contradicts the first test he had back in December of 2007 and the testing he had done at HealthWalk. So Gary gave him Cheddar Cheese for a few days and he is acting like a wild child, the new test says he is not allergic, well I say he is! I did not want him to have the cheese in the first place. Now it is going to take some time to get it out of his system I believe. It is like we went backwards! Plus he is stimming with his facial expressions more. The whole process is totally getting to me, I mean all the tests are different what do I believe?? I am contemplating more fundraisers to get him back to Costa Rica if his blood cleans up. Who knows when we will get that all redone, we really can not have him retested until we see a change in him.........

Guess I am in one of my complaining moods you can always tell, I will not write for awhile and when I do I am all confused with no answers. Maybe I will be in a better mood in a few days. I am just tired and stressed and my 2ND job is just way to much stress for me!

God Bless You~~~Lori

thankfully I do have GOD in my life or these times would be unbearable.

Oh what to write about today???

2009-03-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

March 14Th 2009 Saturday

Happy weekend!! Well hopefully it is a Happy one! We are still giving Joshua's all the holistic medications, and now they have had us add in (I forgot the name) a holistic med to help with the Heavy Metal issue. Thankfully we did not have to go down to HealthWalk to get it, we spoke with them on the phone and the Doctor (Dr. Mannes) who does all of the Bio Feedback stuff with the brain says he really can not do much more for Joshua until his body is clear of the Heavy Metals, that is how it came about that we have added the new medication. They asked us if we have seen any changes in Joshua but we had to say no because nothing is consistent, we may see a calmer behavior for 2 days then back to his normal self....... so I do not consider that a change just a different mood for that day or two just like all of us go through. He is not comprehending more, nor speaking more accurately, he is just being Joshua. We will give this new stuff a try and see what results we may see, they said there is no reason for us to drive all the way down there if we have seen no improvements (that was nice of them) once we see some improvement then it is time to go down and retest etc......

We sent off the blood for the MRT L.E.A.P test to see about all of his allergies again, because he has been on the strictest diet you can pretty much be on, ever since our visit down to HealthWalk and we again see no differences with that, but I am really hoping that his gut is healing. My little mans body is just strong I guess, so strong not many things can help him........strong in the wrong way. Sometimes I am just like............ we better start making plans for him in the future keep a good size life insurance policy so if something does happen to one or both of us the money will be there to either take care of him for the rest of his life or aid one of us to take care of him.

I am still really serious about moving I would love to move to a state that has phenomenal schools just for those with Autism

( not the private ones that run $2,000 a month) just somewhere that will work daily with him on everything possible, so he can grow. I love his school and his teachers are fantastic but our schools have limited funding to do what he needs, he in my mind is definitely the worst in his class and the most disruptive. If anyone lives in a state like this please just take a minute to write me and inform me of it, just a few lines I will not keep emailing you & bothering you about it I promise (pinkie promise at that) I look for jobs in other states and well it just is too hard to choose one to apply for as I have no idea as to what that state or town offers for Autism.

Yesterday I must tell you Joshua was getting pretty upset with my husband I believe over having a snack (his 5Th I am sure) so he came in my bedroom said "goodbye daddy!" in his loud growling voice then he closed the door and came to me and said "mama I am mad at daddy!" I said "well are you mad at me too?" he growled "no, just daddy" That is one thing with Joshua he does not hold back, he has no filter at all, if he is mad or upset you are going to hear about it, most of it is funny but I try not to laugh because the last thing I want to do is encourage that behavior, but wouldn't it be cool if we could do that ourselves without getting in trouble or fired from our job because we told the boss how we felt??? The only bad thing besides him having no filter is our Jacob is doing it too yelling "I'm mad!' and crossing his hands in front of his chest, he hunches his shoulders over in a humph stance. I am trying to get him out of it but as long as Joshua is around him, I think it is going to continue..........Help! and Wikes!

Just not a whole lot going on, awaiting our foreclosure......it has me worried, I do not know when the foreclosure is going to happen and our mortgage company is not taking part of the Presidents new stimulus they are just going straight to foreclosure and having no contact with the owners in default, we have left probably over 45 messages......with no return call, not one I am truly

serious not one.

I will say this about Joshua if when we get his blood and body cleaned out he does have a serious change I would consider raising the money and going to have the stem cell treatment again. I really do believe in it but I also believe that some will just not respond, but I would like to give him another chance once he is all fresh and clean inside and in his brain (if that happens)

I just would like to see how he may respond when his insides are really healthy and not all contaminated. Will I go to Costa Rica again..... yes I would, I love the clinic and Costa Rica, but if they have it here in the US by then

(or have a trial being done here) I will stay here and give it a try (if it is a reputable company)

All I hear in my head through everything we are doing is a little song that the boys have on one of their DVD'S it is Elmo singing and it sings (in Elmo's voice)

Keep trying, Keep trying, Don't give up, Don't give up. It can get a little annoying after you have heard Elmo sing it 3, 550 times but I still like the concept!

Take care xoxoxox~~~ Lori

In a couple of days our entire website will be shut down and under construction.....

2009-03-05T18:05:00.001-08:00

THURSDAY MARCH 6TH 2009

Well just got off of work and I wanted to make sure that I told everyone that our website www.stride4autism.com will be completely shut down. It costs us over $100.00/year and it is so hard to use it is terrible and .......well.......... we have had no donations to the foundation this year so I am going to work with another provider and get a new site up as soon as possible, one that is easier to use and not so pricey.

I put in for a grant for the foundation but I have not heard anything back, and that was in December I believe, if it does come through I will be able to get our site up and running again sooner. The new site will have the option to buy weighted vest patterns on it also. I will just keep up with this blog for the time being.

You know last night when I got home I swore Joshua was really handling himself a bit different, well a bit better is what I should be saying....I know, I know yesterday I say no improvement, today I say possibly........it is always back and forth with me......when something new stays the same or stays improved for over 4 weeks then I will be positive it is a change and then I will not be so wishy washy. I am tired we were really busy at work the last couple of days and all of the sudden this wave of tiredness came over me about an hour ago and I swear if I laid my head down I would fall right to sleep.........it is like someone drugged my water that is how weird it feels.........I feel like I am sleeping (almost) while I am writing this.....man I want to watch Survivor and American Idol tonight but I think I should probably just hit the hay and get some zzzzzzzzzzz's. But by the time I get home I may be more alert and the tiredness wave will have passed......we shall see. I wish I had some really cool story to tell you but right now it is all boring! Just waiting on GOD ya' know, waiting to see what he is bringing for us (or not.) it is all good!

Well I have to get going and drive home, I hope everyone has a great evening!!

Peace Out (as my 19 year old would say) ~~~Lori

Two front teeth gone......not a whole lot to report on.

2009-03-04T17:49:00.000-08:00

Wednesday March 4Th 2009

So Joshua has officially lost his two front teeth, boy is he cute! I will get a picture of him and put it on here. I am sure all of your kids were just as cute!

We thought we would be headed back down to HealthWalk in about a week but they are going to start a heavy metal detox on him before we come back. So probably another 3 to 4 weeks before we have to head down to California again. I have not seen any other changes then what I talked about before, he appears calmer...... But no big tada' like it is ever that easy.........well I do know of a few people who have had the tada' moment, we are just not one of them right now. Joshua's Autism is effecting Jacob a lot as he is now telling us NO, and getting mad the same way Joshua does, also mimicking sounds and movements Joshua makes....Is Jacob autistic? No not that I can tell at all, he does have delayed speech but he is huge strides beyond his brother in development. It is hard to discipline Jacob when he always sees Joshua doing things, he does not understand the whole "Autism" thing....... not yet, Jacob is such a sweet and happy boy but can get his feelings hurt very easily, it breaks my heart to see his lip pop out and the big tears roll down his face, Gary calls me a softy, I am not a softy (well not all of the time anyway) I just understand how hard it must be for Jacob dealing with Joshua and not knowing anything different. Sometimes I really feel sorry for Jacob that he was born into this situation, I know when he is older he will "get it" but growing up through it can not at all be easy! I think I even feel guilty..........

Well the first couple to look at our home wants to make an offer on it! WOW........Problem is our realtor nor I can get in touch with our mortgage company......it has been this way the last 5 months........I mean literally you will sit on hold for 45 minutes to 1.5 hours with music playing (and no it is not the Billboards Top 100 hits) then sometimes someone may answer but they are not the one who can do anything about a short sale, they put you through to the "person who has your account" and you have to leave a message, they never ever call back, and no one will give you a number to reach them straight through. I understand it is crazy right now, but it would seem that if they have a potential sale on their hands they would want to move on it..........Just my opinion.(makes sense to me, but hey my philosophy is not always correct)

The new mortgage modification thing came out today and it is pretty in depth and I have no idea if we can even afford a modified mortgage, I know we qualify but they would literally have to take our loan and drop it to 2% at a 40 year amortization schedule. I do not think that is going to happen and right now I just do not know if I care or not.....the only big thing that scares me is the mortgage company will come after all of the money they lose by selling it in a short sale or an auction post foreclosure that could be $100,000.00 to $200,000.00 depending on the selling or auctioned price, now that is scary owing them that much money!

We will just wait it out, but in the mean time our focus of course is Joshua each day he grows and gets older is each day I fear no change for him will happen, of course I feel that is purely selfish on my part, he more then likely has no idea how he "could" be it is myself that wants a change and I am not going to sit here and say just "for him" it is for all of us the whole family. I will keep walking with GOD on this one but man I get so frustrated, mainly at myself.

Did anyone ever read about the man who was going over sees to sell a kidney so he could pay for ABA therapy for his son?? We were searching online and found a story on a Q & A Blog everyone commenting was telling him not to do it, to learn ABA and teach his child on his own etc, etc, my main concern was what if one of your children needed a kidney and you only had one left and could not help them? I think I would do it, if it was legal and paid enough I would at least consider it............crazy huh? But like I said what if down the road one of your kids needed a kidney and you couldn't help them out, so who knows which way I would go on that, the things we will do or won't do or at least consider possibly..........

Even though it is not peaceful at my house when I get home at night after working all day, I would not give up those two little angels who come screaming to me "mama mama" when I get home and the huge grins with their eyes all lit up, they are so happy to see me, it amazes me because I am like "who would be happy to see me?" but they jump up and down and yell and laugh they are funny! They gives me hugs and kisses and Joshua always tells me he missed me. They so touch my heart and soul I am grateful that I can at least come home to that kind of love, even if Joshua is asking me the same questions he has asked me for months now or has a new movie phrase to use.....they sure are precious and I feel very blessed to have those babies who love me like I was something special......when they are actually the ones who are so special!!

Goodnight and GOD BLESS!!

~~~Lori

Our Home is about to be foreclosed on........it is breaking my heart!!

2009-03-01T09:35:00.000-08:00

At the very bottom of this page is the home we are losing, our home, it is about 11 years old, I know it looks huge and it is big but the perfect setup for our family, we did not get into a loan that had a ridiculous % rate (5.5%) the house was a steal of a deal, the taxes and HOA, plus homeowners insurance stacked on monthly put the payment at about $1850.00 that is a great house payment where I live because these home sold at nearly half a million dollars just a couple of years ago they are on one of Nevada's most Golf Courses and just a really great place for kids.
We have never taken out a second nor did we do an interest only loan we played it safe and use my husbands VA Loan (he is a disabled Veteran from Desert Storm)
Well when I left my job at the Hospital to go work for Advanced Lifeline Services to be a manager things were great more money a sign on bonus we could use for Joshua's stem cell treatment, things were great then after the first week at ALS I found out what a bunch of manipulators they were and had lied so much to me about the job, I was not happy and they were mad at me for bowing down to them, I told them they lied to me and I could not work with a company of liars and well the rest is history.........I was asked for my resignation in a "sense" and sent home with no job, no health insurance, no money saved what so ever, and then WHAM Gary was laid off at home depot his evening job (he worked from 8pm - 1am it was the perfect setup when I got off, he went to work, we would have the same days off, but it all fell apart in a matter of days...................... I immediately called my current employer and they rehired me but I had lost my Full Time position to another employee and was able to get on Part Time, which as you can guess was not nearly enough. So I ended up with a second job at a home care company, my weeks run together with very little time off in between. When all was said and done it took 2 months for me to get back into my current job, and 3 months to get into my home care position...............by then we fell behind 3 months on our house payment, my car payment is now 1 month behind, all of our credit cards are months behind with the 25 call everyday telling us we owe them money, we have tried to close the accounts and make out a payment plan, all of them say no or if they do that we will still accrue interest and late fees, over limit fees etc.......... I said forget it I will wait 6 or so months and do a chap 13 Bankruptcy to get them on a payment plan to pay them all in full but get those extra charge taken off hopefully!
We have tried everything in our power to ask our Mortgage company to work with us, drop our rate, extend out loan to a 40 year loan, or re finance it to us for whatever they will except in price for the short sale, (the short sale price is $100,000.00 (yes one hundred thousand dollars less then we owe) In on year time that is how much the value has went down. Everyone is hurting in these days.......but why can't they pass a law to encourage these mortgage companies to re negotiate with us what they would agree to take in a short sale?? And if it forecloses then they will only get may $125,000.00 (two hundred thousand then we owe) I think they do not care with us because it is a VA Backed guaranteed loan so they are gonna get their money. Only problem then is we have to pay back the VA I believe up to $125,000.00 back to them and there is no way around that, that is government backed and you do not get rid of that even through bankruptcy. That amount could buy me a house right now. I am devastated but being Gary can not find a job to work at night that will fit around my work schedule and him getting home early enough to get 3 hours of sleep a night before the kiddos get up, then he is up making breakfast, bathing them, dressing them, feeding them, making lunches, doing their homework, he drives each to school and picks them both up then after school it is Speech Therapy 2 times a week, and OT 2 times a week, then he has to rush home try and get dinner made (which cooking for Joshua is so hard because of all his food allergies) then do homework, of course give them love, attention, and playtime, get their jammies on, get them in to bed while all at the same time doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen after meals, and more.......man I am tired just writing all of this.
Anyway I am not trying to do a oh yoa is me boo hoo hoo........ It just is painful to watch every thing slip away.......any extra money you have goes to pay for Joshua special food that is phenomenally expensive!! I should show you a receipt just from Whole foods for one week and my online receipt........it is insane, (then their is the rest of the family to feed..........) His supplements and holistic meds run close to $300.00 a month...............You have to make that choice though right??? Try to do the best for your child.........I can not justify paying such a high mortgage on just my salary instead of treating him, it just isn't an option.........my life is for my children (I still do not make enough to pay our house payment with both my part time jobs) but if Gary could get a job (It has to be at night but not a total graveyard shift, he has to get sleep or he is just so tired trying to take care of the kids it does not work out a 4 to 5 hour job somewhere each night would be the best thing right now, but in GODS timing right,
not mine ha ha ha ha ha) then maybe it could work out, we are about $1,000.00 short of making the payment............I pray they will work with us somehow.............I pray GOD will continue to bring me peace through this process, because now that we are trying to do a short sale, I am sad everytime I drive up & see the for sale sign in our yard......... :( it hurts my heart deeply.

We had such big hopes & dreams to raise our children there, we have a therapy room for Joshua and Jacob it may not be high tech and we use hand me downs but it is an extra room for ABA and Floor time. The back yard is huge and our kids can run freely in the grass and be as loud as they want to..........this move will devastate Joshua he does not do change well..................A year ago I would not have dreamed this would be happening, but right now I need to pay for the special diet foods, and treatments, plus holistic meds and supplements for Joshua and speech therapy for Jacob............how do you choose the house? or my children future? It is a no brainier my kids come first if it is a tent we must live in then I will do it just to give both of my sons a shot at a better less confusioning life one they can actually calm down enough to enjoy the beauties in life, to slow down enough to sit still for a few moments and actually hear the birds lovely songs and hear the leaves rusting on the trees........those are important things for our children to do, for anyone to do, to be able to be in a quiet place and to enjoy natures gifts to help us stay center and calm.....God has given us so many natural beautiful gifts, that if we could just slow down to use them we could enjoy them and find peace through GODS creation. How powerful would that be??? Sorry to ramble, just keeping the update on the family front, my prayers are with all of you going through the same struggles, one good thing about this is you do find out where you priorities lay, and that you are much stronger then you ever dreamed possible and through this struggle you will be able to touch so many lives & help so many others!
GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU AND YOUR ANGEL CHILDREN WHATEVER AGE THEY ARE.
All my love to you!! .......... Lori

Here is my house I will miss it so much!!!! But it is for the kids to help Defeat Autism and not let it defeat us NEVER!!!

The waiting game.....of course..........always huh?

2009-02-26T08:59:00.001-08:00

Waiting to see if a change is occurring or not? You know that game the waiting, watching, observing, everyday to see if something is happening to your child with Autism or something else.......is the new diet working, are the stem cells helping, is his gut better, is the new med working? Yes that's a daily routine for me I think I observe to closely..........but how can you not right? I must say in my last post I said Joshua was getting calmer and it is continuing...........he had one small meltdown at school because they took him to the music show assembly and when it was over and everyone clapped Joshua just can not take it, even though they tell him it is coming and to cover his ears, it just doesn't help, I think I am going to make a short modeling tape so Joshua will get the concept of the clapping, for a little while he tried to clap along but I could tell it was pretty painful for him...........but last August we were in Lake Tahoe for my Aunt Helen's Birthday Party and it was outdoors so when everyone clapped after singing Happy Birthday, Joshua had no problem with it he clapped too and he and Jacob were the first one's at the cake! So to me he does better outside because he can not hear an echo of the clapping, when he is inside it is just to much for him but outside where sounds can travel and not be consolidated in one room...........just my opinion. But anyway he has been doing fairly well, he is eating his foods, taking all of his supplements and he will be going back to HealthWalk in a couple of weeks. I do not know if I have ever spoke of it but Joshua was detoxed before for the yeast and did oral chelation, we never saw any change I believe that is because the allergy test at that time led us to believe he could have dairy and wheat, so the cycle just continued on. Plus when he had blood work done here in Reno they never detected any parasites (bacterias) but I think they were not testing the right way nor looking for what needed to be looked for they probably do not have the same capabilities as HealthWalk like I said before there is only 16 of these special microscopes in the US they are used at the Pastuere Institute and the Scripps Center to name a few, they are no joke just amazing watching the blood that closely. It is a shame because I can bet money on it that every other time my sons blood has been taken, it has never been put under a microscope of any kind, it was tested in the lab in other ways but I am sure never under a microscope for the bacteria he has. We were under the impression he was free from all the bacterias (parasites) that is what they told us......
They (the conventional practitioners) only look at the medications that the blood will react to, to treat a condition, this is what they are trained to do............they do not get into the side of "oh what the heck, this kids blood is a mess full of bacterias and metals" We have had multiple testing done for Heavy metals (again through conventional medicine) and every time Negative no metals out of range, we were lied to in a sense........the tests may say "Nothings there" but the tests are the wrong ones, what if it is not even my own child's blood? I work in the hospital I know how many times blood work gets mixed up.......daily! I know it for a fact!!
With the Vital Hematology (live blood test) I am sitting right there and they prick his finger take a few drops of blood put it under the scope and voila'...........on three flat screens I can see his blood and the damage right in front of me, it is so cool, I really want to get my blood done, but the money I would spend on it I need for Joshua (but it would be neat and probably scary who knows whats in my blood??) I am still doing the daily detox (15 day regimen) I am not noticing anything but today is my 5Th day and my husband says to be patient (oh patience I pray for it by the minute!!)
Today is the kids last day of school, they are on year around so they will be out for the next month, fun for daddy at home :) at least during school time daddy gets a two hour break when Jacob is at his class, not like he gets to sit down and relax he uses that time to clean up from breakfast, getting the kids ready for school, take a shower, start laundry, etc....... very hard to do those things when they are home because they always want something and they take up a lot of time..........I know you know what I am talking about. A good thing about having them home is he doesn't have to rush around getting them ready and off to school he can take some time and they can stay in their jammies and play, so each side has it's benefits.
Well that's it just wanted to let you know Joshua is calmer and it is noticeable I do not have to watch his every move to see if he is calmer it is just a presence I can see and hear...........I pray GOD will continue healing Joshua as he plans to and I praise him all the time for that, GOD is awesome if he can work with a person like me all things are possible through him !!!! :)
My best prayers to you all~~ Lori

One front tooth down, and a calmer boy.....

2009-02-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

Well Sunday Joshua managed to wiggle his right front tooth enough that he was able to get it out on his own. He was thrilled! His left tooth is loose also so in no time it should be out. He has already lost the two bottom teeth so pretty soon the fronts will be all done. I must say the past few days Joshua has not been having his total melt downs, he is being really good actually, last night I said to myself if he was always "this way" I could deal with that and be content. We had stopped using the Alpha Stim on him because of the Bio Feedback but started it 2 nights ago we just start it before we start the Bio-Feedback music CD. I really think it has a lot to do with his calmer demeanor. We have had him on the strict diet now for 8 days, I can not say I notice something huge you know "the miracle" has happened scenario......but it is a waiting game. Gary is trying really hard to come up with recipes that Joshua can eat, he will eat, and taste good.........he's a trooper he has made some good gains (Gary in his recipe quest). Joshua is taking all of his supplements and vitamins, he does so well, he does not enjoy it at all, but he will do it and believe me there is a lot to do.!

I just started a 15 day body detox just thinking of Parasites in Joshua and reading more about them I am just sickened so I decided.......time for mommy to detox too, only mine is much quicker, two days on it so far but no big result as of yet (not that I would tell you anyway that could get gross!!) I also started taking this stuff called Grean SuperFood, you take it 1 to 3 times daily in milk and it has all kinds of healthy stuff in it, it doesn't taste good..... I am not going to lie, in fact it tastes so bad you know it must be good for you! I am in a slow mode right now I need a nap!!

Joshua is getting his blood drawn tomorrow for his 2nd LEAP MRT blood test to check his allergies to 123 foods and 27 chemicals. We want to make sure the test that he had done in California was accurate, it is hard for us to wrap our heads around something you set your hand on and then it tells you things you are allergic to. If Joshua could have left his hand on it for more then 1 minute I would be more content with the results........so I am doing this for our peace of mine and his good health.

Well once again gotta run~~ Lori

Is it just me or is it hot in here??

2009-02-18T18:04:00.000-08:00

Wednesday February 18Th 2009

I am having hot flashes and my friends are making fun of me! I do not think they are like true hot flashes because it is just my entire head hot and that is it........I always knew I was a weirdo but now I really am believing it :)

I am getting anxious as many of us do, I am like come on stem cells, come on CES, come on new diet, come on new meds, come on biofeedback....... do something........... anything give me some hope here please............. I know things are not overnight but it seems no matter what..... things just stay so close to the same, sometimes you just want to throw up your hands and say I am done! But when it is your child I think you will keep trying no matter what just for a small percentage of change for them, and it really is for him my Joshua it isn't so much for me I can handle him, it is for the future so he can function when we are no longer here, it is to save him from the cruelty of other children or adults teasing him and making fun of him.......hurting him his feelings, physically, etc.... I am like that with my other children too, but you know it is different with Joshua. He will be 8 this year and we have known about his Autism since 2005 always trying the treatments, the diets, the different doctors, hoping for a way for him to get better. I trust GOD I truly do and as I always say whatever GOD has for Joshua.........but I am such a weenie........I want him to be how I want him to be............I am not sitting in the faith that I try for everyday with GOD, so many times a day I am catching myself trying to, but struggling..........my son to me is an angel his pale face and big blue eyes, and when he smiles........ ...............oh he lights up the room.

I hurt when he cries too, when he is saddened by something beyond his control or his feelings are hurt.........I want him to stay small if his Autism is always going to be there........... I am afraid for him as he gets older.............that is my human self not trusting GOD, yet I feel I do trust GOD.......I know it is confusing, it truly is.........I trust GOD already has his plan for Joshua, he may heal him and he may not........at what point do you just sit back and say "OK GOD your will be done....I trust you and I will not seek more treatment, I will only trust your miraculous healing hand for Joshua" I say that and it seems so odd to me because I do feel that way, but the devil whispers doubts in my ear and I stumble, I catch myself much quicker then I did in years past this I do know and I know GOD is working on me too every day that I am open to it, which is daily........ I guess my rambling is just about me and my doubts and questions that are not being answered............I guess you just hope that one day you just wake up and really see something and you say "wow it is a miracle" I believe in those miracles.....but I am over anxious to.......I hope I am not holding GOD back from letting Joshua be all he can be. I do not think I am as he is GODS child first and this I know I have already acknowledged that to GOD. I love GOD he is awesome and has brought us to see amazing wonderful things happen for Joshua by strangers who do not even know us.........I think that is a huge purpose for our children..... to show us the kindness others have for them and us.........we will come across some bad apples..........but most have touched my heart forever.........I really thank GOD for that

XOXOXOXOXO ~~~~Lori

I am trying to wrap my mind around Joshua's Holistic treatments....

2009-02-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

Tuesday February 17th 2009

Bob the Builder 100% built of Legos at LegoLand!!

I am looking into the treatments my son is now getting and I am wondering if anyone else's child has had parasites in their blood and if you would please share with me how they were treated.

My son is receiving:

1. S-1 Allerdrain™ (Ingredients)

For general drainage, cleansing, and desensitization in such allergy-related conditions as rashes, headaches, fatigue, vertigo, and acne. Supports pancreas, liver, kidneys, lymphatics, colon, and skin to relieve disorders resulting from chronic hypersensitivities.

1/2 a dropper full upon rising in the morning.
1/2 a dropper before dinner (at least 15 minutes before)

1/2 dropper full right before bed.

2. A Probiotic.

One capsule upon rising in the morning and one before bed.

3. A Digestive Enzyme

1 - 2 capsules with breakfast (open and put in the food)

1 capsule at lunch

1 - 2 capsules with dinner

4. igG 2000 DF (Immunoglobulin concentrate)

Key Benefits of IgG 2000 DF™
• Immune Support • Binds and Neutralizes Major Pathogens
• Reduces G.I. Inflammation / Lessens Gut Permeability
• Supports Lean Muscle Mass • Supports Healthy Cholesterol Levels

1/2 tsp with breakfast

1/2 tsp with dinner

5. Vitamin D3

1 dropperful daily.

So from my understanding we are healing his digestive system, boosting his immune system, while promoting healthy cellular growth (?)

So please if your child has been diagnosed with parasites and heavy metal toxicity I would be interested to hear how your child was treated or is being treated and of course how it worked or is working. Email me stride4autism@yahoo.com please.

So Joshua has been listening to his bio-feedback CD for a week now, and taking the homeopathic medications and supplements mentioned above for three days and we have 100% changed his entire diet to fit his allergies we are having another L.E.A.P MRT blood draw, the same Joshua had in December of 2007, we want to make sure we are on track with him with his food allergies.

He was very talkative tonight he got upset two times but calmed down very quickly, I think with the diet being followed perfectly he will become calmer, and the other things.?......time will tell.

I have to go and lay down with Jacob he is over tired and very giggly he wants mommy to lay with him, so off I go my big ole' butt trying to share a kids twin bed with Jacob, I am always hanging onto the head board for dear life trying not to fall onto the floor because only 1/2 of me fits on the bed...........

Goodnight~~~Lori

Just a quickie so you know we made it home...

2009-02-15T20:08:00.000-08:00

Sunday February 15th 2009

Oh I know I am so slow with getting back on the blog and keeping it up to date...but the drive home Friday ended up taking over 12 hours because we hit a snow storm coming over the N. Sierras, thank GOD we have a 4 wheel drive because they only let 4 wheel drives and snow chains through, imagine going 20 - 30 miles an hour in the dark with a nice blanket of white powder blowing everywhere......the wind was really nasty. But thankfully we made it home safe!! I had to work the next morning Sat and today and yes tomorrow then off Tuesday and back to work for 3 more fun filled days, oh the joy of it!!

Well as I wrote before Joshua is a mess inside his poor blood cells have horrible parasites and heavy metal toxicity (you can tell when the cell have metal they are jagged all around the edges) For the Parasites they cause the cells not to have an outer wall and they can not carry oxygen, and the clumping of the cells is still being researched.

I am sorry I have to go, I have to get some bills paid and get to bed.....but by Tuesday night I will have much more info and some pictures.

XOXOXOXO~~~Lori

Brain mapping for Joshua and a peak at my brain..... ooooh that is pretty scary

2009-02-10T18:19:00.000-08:00

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 10TH 2009 7:10PM

Wish I had more to say tonight but things today turned out differently today we ended up really concentrating on the brain mapping, with only one nap and Joshua listening to an embedded CD while he slept for only 1 hour this afternoon he already showed improvement, it is amazing therapy and let me tell you what it is REAL! The doctor hooked me up today and he does not know me or my life, then as soon as he started seeing the images on the screen he said "Lori how is your memory?" I said "it used to be top notch but the last few months I forget everything" He said have you been hit in the head hard or been in an accident that caused your head to hit the windshield?" I said "my first marriage was a bad one and my husband hit me in the head with his fist and gave me a couple of concussions" (yes I was once in a 14 year relationship turned marriage to a pig who was abusive physically and mentally, it took me a long time to get out but I did.... long story but I am not getting into it, I have always been a strong lady but sometimes you get mentally week and you get stuck...........enough said because I am free now :)

He said "Lori he really did a number on you, your scan looks like some of the NFL Players I have treated"

I told him "yeah I figured, I have PTSD from it too, but life goes on maybe someday I will come back and be treated to" I had already told Gary I would love to have myself worked up especially my blood work I am sure much of the depressive spells I go through and the anxiety attacks stem from all the past crap but most from yucky stuff in my blood.

Well the brain mapping and sessions took longer then expected and we were not able to talk to the Doctor we were set to see to talk about Joshua's parasites and blood problems plus the heavy metals in his blood, but his food allergies came back really BAD! Things he was not reactive to 15 months ago he now is having huge reactions to. So back to a GF/CF diet again and so many other things, I will put the whole list on here just so you can see the complexity and pretty much the only thing he can have is goat milk and strawberries and vegetables! Man this is going to be hard but a life change for all of us, if Joshua has to eat that way we might as well to.........all in the family huh.........it will make it easier to just make one meal for dinner and not 3 or more different ones.....I should be skinny in no time :)

So tomorrow we will get the whole thing in a nutshell, they planned on putting Joshua on some of their supplements but they can not because he has so many fruit allergies that he can not take some of them, so Dr. Dennis R Manness is going to try and create an elixir himself for Joshua, we will see what happens on that. Dr. Anna Walden the Naturopathic, Vital Hematologist said because Joshua is one of their worst cases we will have to treat him in slow steps, getting his blood in order through nutrition and supplements.......meaning we can not give him 10 different supplements at one time we have to add them slowly so we will not shock his system. This is some of the most amazing work I have ever seen and being a Respiratory Therapist for almost 17 years now I have seen it all............conventional medicine that is. But please hear me when I say this.......... I believe that GOD has put cures for every illness on this earth, through everything natural, I have said this for years and years before I even knew about Autism......if we can heal our kids through total natural products and not chemicals we are giving our kids the very best gift we can. We need to get Joshua cleaned out and healthy and hopefully some of the stem cells he did receive will be capable of helping him...............if not?? well............we tried, I would not change it for anything we had to try the therapy, we had no idea of these problems Joshua has (we have had lots of testing done in Reno but as I have said before most of the doctors there are totally clueless when it comes to Autism, they do not order the right testing and they do not treat according to the results they may get back.....they are stabbing in the dark and all they want to do is write a prescription for dangerous drugs that will harm our kids more then anything) so if you are planning on doing stem cell treatment PLEASE do the testing first make sure your child is healthy inside and that the new cells will not be harmed as Joshua's have been.

I do not know when I will be back on tomorrow and if I do it will be plenty late as we have the whole day at the clinic again and then we are taking the kids to LegoLand in the evening tomorrow and all day Thursday, early morning Friday back on the road to home it took us 10 hours to get here so I assume it will be at least 10 to get home whew that is a long time in a car two kiddos. Then back to work for me for a whole week (I am making a face and sticking out my tongue to that one)

We got to walk the entire Pier today and we ate at the end of the Pier at a 50's diner called Ruby's Great place to eat I recommend it they even dress all 50's there to it is so cool!!! Then we strolled around town a bit bought some cheesy souvenirs and came back to our room.

Have a good sleep everybody and GOD BLESS YOU~~~~~Lori

On a lighter note.........

2009-02-10T10:14:00.000-08:00

Tuesday February 10Th 2009

Well first of all I need to give a shout out to my son Kelvin he is 19 years old today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELVIN!!!!! He has been keeping so busy lately everyday he has off he goes snow boarding and that is made possible by the founder of HealthWalk, that is how we found out about them. There was a contest to write a compelling story about yourself and the winner would get a free season pass to North Star ski Resort in Tahoe! Kelvin wrote and he won!!! The founder Mark chose Kelvin and then he told Kelvin he wanted to talk to me about Joshua...........the rest is history, we spoke several times and he offered to run these tests and treatments on Joshua free of charge at HealthWalk...............how amazing is GOD and the ways he works!! We will be paying for the supplements and however they choose to treat Joshua in addition. The testing like I said is worth every penny, but as you know times are tight for us (for thousands) right now so this is a TRUE BLESSING and the co-founder Marilyn and all of the staff are out of this world wonderful! Joshua can be very hard to work with but they do it with smiles and understanding. Makes me wish I worked in Holistic treatment instead of conventional.......someday I will .......this I know for sure.

So there it is the story of how this began pretty amazing huh?

I couldn't sleep to well last night that is OK, I was not stressed just impatient to find out what we can do for Joshua after finding out so many things about his internal problems. Excited too!!!!

Here is 3 pictures of Beautiful Oceanside (that is where we are staying) Yesterday we tried to go out on the Historic Pier but no way the wind was so bad and I mean BAD then it rained!! But today it is breezy and sunny probably about 65 degrees and we will attempt the pier again today :)

THE BOYS ENJOYING THEIR BED AT THE RESORT. Now you know you have jumped on the bed once or twice yourself, if you haven't you should try it!!! I have at least when I was a kid, which isn't that long ago HA! My nose is growing!!!!

(Above)

THE STORMY OCEAN YESTERDAY DURING OUR ATTEMPT TO WALK DOWN THE PIER

THIS IS THE WYNDHAM RESORT, RIGHT ON THE BEACH WE AS ARE STAYING HERE. MY GREAT FRIEND JANA OWNS A TIMESHARE AND SHE LET ME USE IT INSTEAD OF CHARGING ME $250.00/NIGHT FOR A TWO BEDROOM/2BATH CONDO WITH A BALCONY VIEW OF THE OCEAN, SHE SOLD ME HER POINTS FOR $250.00 THE ENTIRE TRIP!!!!! Thank You Girl!!! I would have paid $500.00 at Motel 6 otherwise, I am getting used to the luxury living, it is easy to do hahahahahahahaha!!
But I guess if I had it all of the time I would not be so appreciative of it when we so get a treat like this.
Be back late tonight to report on all of his heavy metal testing and more......
XOXOXOXOXO~~~~~~Lori

So much info...........

2009-02-09T20:21:00.000-08:00

Monday February 9Th 2009 8:20pm

OK............ lots of info, hard to explain until it is all over, I do want to say that in the Vital Hematology Live blood Scan it shows Joshua's blood almost sitting still all of his blood, some of his cells are deformed also, it is strange I just want to get the DVD of it on here so you can actually see what I am talking about. It is a bad case of parasites, etc.....

This picture above is Joshua's brain mapping session.

In his brain mapping it shows how and where in the brain problems are, with Joshua the left and right sides of the brain are not communicating, they are going to continue doing therapy sessions and then they want to check him again to see it the sessions are helping. They took three of Joshua's favorite songs and they are embedding the therapy in to them to help heal the pathways in his brain that are not communicating, they want us to put it on him tomorrow the CD (he needs to use it while taking a nap) they will check him again after he gets up to see if he has some positive results from it (the embedded CD) to make sure he is on the right track. The mapping also shows he has severe stress on both sides of the brain , it is usually only on one side with most patients but with him it is on both (I have always thought that, as he is always high stress it seems)

This picture above is of Joshua during his brain mapping testing, they tried many different tests but Joshua could not do them because he could not understand the directions. No he is not sleeping in the picture (like that would ever happen ha ha) he is watching a movie.

Tomorrow we will hear the results about metals in his blood and other factors too (I am not sure exactly) I will keep you posted on all that I can, this is so interesting and amazing to finally see with our own eyes the problems in his brain and body. Joshua a couple of years ago had a normal MRI, but he is as you know not normal by any means.
Here is Joshua before his appointment today at the HealthWalk facility. I MUST tell you this place is PHENOMENAL I believe this 100% they have testing and answers you can only dream of and it is all at one location and they are so wonderful, professional, and just plain good people who practice HOLISTIC medicine that works. I sound like a commercial huh? Well this is a great place, doing amazing things, and they actually care......

and it is so much more affordable then other places, testing out there, and "treatments" that are BOGUS!

OK that's as much as I can tell you about so far...........I will be back...........after his visit tomorrow and let you know more.

Goodnight~~~Lori

We are here in Carlsbad and the news is worse then I imagined so far............But it is also a good thing, no matter what!!!!!!

2009-02-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

Monday February 9Th 2009

OK I know I have not been on for almost a week, it is a long story but anyway............
We are here in Carlsbad CA Joshua is at HealthWalk as I write this right now this morning he had his Vital Hematology testing of his live blood.
You can read all about this VERY important testing at: http://www.healthwalk.com/ClinicServices/IndividualClinicServices/VitalHematology/tabid/60/Default.aspx#
They have found that Joshua's blood is FULL of PARASITES (all different things cause this mainly the environment pesticides, metals, toxins etc...) Now I can not give you the just of everything right this minutes they have one of their specialist working on his case right now to try and treat this naturally. The parasites keep oxygen from reaching the brain to oxygenate it.

They ALSO found that his cells are clumping together due to Undigested Proteins and Fats they have to go through all of your organs and heart that way and it is very bad, and lastly his Gal bladder is showing high stress levels. This is all I can tell you right now, he is having many tests run today including Brain Mapping............

Here let me make this easier here is his 3 day schedule:

February 9Th
9am - Mapping - Brain Technologies
11am - Vital Hem
12 - Lunch
1pm- Galvanic Skin Response
3pm - Session 1 - Brain Technology

February 10Th
9am - Session 2 - Brain Technology
10am - Lab analysis/Nutrition
1130am - 1230pm - Lunch
1230p - Session 3 - Brain Technology
130pm - Session 4 - Brain Technology
230pm - Session 5 - Brain Technology
330pm - Summary (Supplement Recommendation Education)

February 11Th
9am - Neuroscience Lab Review
10am - Session 6
11am - Session 7
12pm - Lunch
1pm - Session 8

They are saying so much of Joshua's problems are from the parasites. When I know more I will be back on here telling you step by step.
They are giving us a complete DVD of all of the live blood testing all of his cells are infected, even the new ones from the stem cells, that is disappointing but we are getting some answers FINALLY we are getting the truth, all of these years all of this searching................
If I would have known about these forms of testings I would not have walked I would have RAN to HealthWalk.
I will be back online tonight, I am hoping after we get home we can compress the DVD of the Live Blood so you all can see what we are seeing IT IS AMAZING!
Much Love~~~~~Lori

Sorry I am real busy with work and I am feeling under the weather

2009-02-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

Wednesday February 4 2009
Sorry I have not been back on I am just not up to blogging right now, not feeling too well I will be back soon though.
xoxoxoxox

Nightly dose adjustment not a success.....this time at least......I have hope, GOD brought a reminder to me today from another families heartbreak....

2009-01-30T18:26:00.000-08:00

Friday January 30th 2009

After only 4 nights of decreasing his Risperdal by only 0.5mg we started seeing some negative behaviors more stimming and a lot more outbursts. We are not 100% sure it was the decrease as we also started a new liquid multi vitamin on him at the same time. He was taking a certain kind of vitamin from Whole Foods and now they do not sell it any longer so I purchased a type he used to take about 7 months ago, we have to be very careful with his vitamins because of his food allergies and the Kirkman vitamins that I wish we could give him have raspberry in it and he is highly allergic. So I am wondering if it was the vitamins or the decrease in Risperdal, bad timing on my part I just was not thinking of the two different things at one time. So we put him back to his normal nightly dose of 2.0mg (he is still off of his morning dose 100%) and I stopped the vitamins and am searching for a different brand in case that does turn out to be the the problem...............so many have ingredients he has allergies to, had we never had the L.E.A.P test done we would not know this. So I will keep searching we want to keep him away from the triggers (allergies) that can really effect his weaning down of the Risperdal.

So at this point I am not considering this a failure, just a small set back, in about a week or maybe two we will attempt to try the wean again. I will restart the vitamins in a few days and see if the behaviors start again if they do not then I will attribute the behavior to the Risperdal decrease, if they do then I know it is the vitamins that were the trigger and will use a different kind. I want to pinpoint which of the two has induced the behavior I explained above.

Today I had a patient and his wife come in and somehow we started talking about their one and half year old son that died 2 years ago, he had a disease process called Spinal Muscular Atrophy SMA, those diagnosed with type 1 like he had have a very short life span. They went through a lot with him......... for the first 4 to 5 months they did not know anything was wrong with him but they noticed he could not hold his head up......... his head would move around like a new born, it went from there and he was finally diagnosed, he was on a feeding tube and oxygen, etc...........one night they went to the store and he fell asleep in his car seat on the way home, when they got home he was pale white, not asleep but he had passed away in the car while they were driving. He never missed a nap but that particular day he did not take one and smiled a lot always keeping his eyes on his parents, like he knew he would be saying good-bye to them. She said he looked just like what she imagined an angel to look like when they realized he was gone, pale white and at peace.

We talked about Autism and the mom got upset saying that Autism is getting all the glory right now and all the funding, and that all of the movie stars are jumping on the Autism band wagon she said "at least the kids with Autism are alive"

I told her I understood her pain and I did, I do............she did calm down and we spoke a lot about our children she cried, her husband cried, I cried.............it was a moving experience.........she would give anything to have her son alive and autistic then not living at all.

I told them I understand about the "Hollywood jumping on the band wagon" my point and mine alone just for myself (I am not trying to push this on anyone)

I feel that even though the movie stars and such have kids with Autism and they are getting a lot of publicity at the same time that is good for the cause, sure.....someone like Jenny McCarthy writes a book and talks of how her son is healed (and that is wonderful) but it gives a misconception to those who are not a part of Autism, the public thinks well if he healed then there must be a cure and quit whining about it.......Jenny did it for her son, why don't you? ............I just want to say that although I am grateful for her work in Autism, I am frustrated by the misconception that she gives off not intentionally...... maybe I should say "how her story is perceived"..............so many do not realize the phenomenal amount of money she spends (or has spent) weekly for her son, and if we all had that type of money we could get the same treatments and intensive therapies like she has provided for her son on an ongoing daily basis. That is not reality in our world, the truth is many struggle they are so far in debt they can see no end in sight, we have to fight to get medicaid so our kids can get some kind of Speech therapy, Physical therapy, etc.....we can barely afford groceries let alone all of the special diet type foods that are very costly for our kids, the supplements alone are over the top, we do not have the best experts in our home working with our kids because we can not afford thousands of dollars weekly to pay for them, we have to fight with the public school system to even get our kids 15 minutes a week of speech therapy or to be in a classroom that meets their needs (Thank GOD Joshua has a loving great teacher and staff, we are grateful.)

I am not angry at Jenny McCarthy or any other star that is on the bandwagon I use her because her story is the biggest right now, but I do want the real stories to be heard, of those who have maxed out their credit to get some type of in home therapy room set up, or who are losing their homes, cars, or have no job to feed their child Gluten Free/ Casein Free food, the real stories the ones who's kids will never recover like Jenny's son because of financial issues period.

Just like this family had a misconception of how Autism has all this glory.............I had to point out because 1 in 150 children are being diagnosed is why it is getting a lot of attention, and insurance companies do not cover Autism, that they do not know what causes Autism.................they understood, their sons disease effects 1 in 6000 children, the known factor to cause it is from genes carried in the parents, you can be screened to see if you carry the gene.............had they even known what the disease was maybe they would have had that screen...........saved themselves the hurt they feel...........they wake up daily and try to live but they have a gaping wound in their heart from the loss of their precious son..... in the pictures I saw he looked 100% normal........my prayers are with them and I support their cause.............I support them............

And though I would have never thought I would hear those words that "I would rather have a child with Autism who is alive and breathing, then a dead child that I did not even get to spend enough time with in his short life" that is what they said and how they truly feel, I do not think any of us living it would have stepped up and said "Hey go ahead give me an Autistic child" we would not have chosen this path.............yet they would...............just to have their son alive.

They do have faith in GOD and know that they will be with him again in Heaven and he will have no pain or tears he will be whole and happy, that gets them through the day no matter how hard the day is, they lean on their faith to be able to move on, looking forward to the day when they will be reunited with him again in GODS presence and everything will be healed.

Sometimes you think you got a wrong deal, but then GOD brings someone in your path and you see out of the two of you who really got the wrong deal, I can still hug and kiss my son, I can stare at him while he is sleeping, I can hear his laugh and tell him I love him..............they would give anything to be able to have those gifts.................gifts, yes that is what my son is a gift, I have said it before and I believe it but sometimes GOD brings someone in your life if only but for a moment to remind you........WOW I have been touched today by that couple....I thank you GOD for the opportunity you brought me today, and in case I forgot to say it today THANK YOU for my son with Autism, THANK YOU for all of my children who are alive..............

My heart to all~~~~~Lori

Scripture that let's me know GOD has our future taken care of....

2009-01-27T18:22:00.000-08:00

Joshua 3 years old "How can he not be a gift from GOD?"

He is not only a gift but he is an ANGEL of GOD all of our kids are!!

January 27Th 2009 Tuesday

Jeremiah 29:11

For only I know the plans I have for Joshua declares the Lord, plans to prosper Joshua and not harm Joshua, plans to give Joshua hope and a future.

Now that is the version I say I replace each of my children's name in the place of You, here is the biblical version:

I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans to prosper you and not for disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope.

To me that says it all and then it is followed with:

Verse 12

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me I will listen to you.

Verse 13

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.

This is all I need to know that GOD has my future, my children's, and my family as a whole futures taken care of as long as we call upon him and seek him out and give our future over to him and believe..........belief that is the hard part right?? It is hard to believe GOD has my sons future filled with hope.........when he was born with Autism.............BUT I DO, and I think of how all the ways the LORD has worked in our lives and in Joshua's and that it is straight proof that GOD is real and as long as you follow his word, you will prosper and have peace, that he will protect you from harm and that our futures are full of hope. Faith (believing the word, knowing it is true......my interpretation) since I have turned my son over to GOD great things have happened this last year and in December of 07 right before the New Year of 2008 I gave my children back to GOD I said "Lord I am not in control no matter how hard I try to be, I know you love them more then I do as they were your children first, you have way better for them then I could ever try do to myself" This came about when my oldest had been home about 3 months after being in Rehab and he was going to then be moving back in with us. I believed he could have a huge future and return to the once great hearted person he was , that he had went a stray for awhile but I never gave up on him and even though we went through some tough times and I do mean tough I had him put in Juvenile hall, then sent to Rehab it was hard for me as a parent to do that to him but it had to be done, I had to step up to the plate and make the hard choice and take control, sometimes it is easier to turn the other cheek and let them go off and "do their own thing" but he was only 17 and I knew if I did not step in and press charges against him then he would continue on the wrong path and probably wind up in Prison............I did it he was upset but I went and visited him every Saturday and even though he was not happy about the situation after a while he started "to get it" and he then took control of his future and made the best out of Rehab and he learned and he started setting goals for himself.........he had to want it I could only do so much for him.......then when it was time for him to come home I got worried and started wanting to control the situation again, but the LORD spoke to me because I was so worn out, and then ding....the bell in my head went off...GOD reminding me he was here just waiting for me to step out of the way and quit stressing about it............to move over and let him work........so I did I gave all of my children back to GOD.........and I tell you what....... powerful things happened in 2008 for my 17 year old now 18, he started planning his future, he started wanting a future, he wised up, he stayed clean from Marijuana and alcohol and has since, he works, he lives in his own home now, pays his own bills responsibly, he loves his family deeply, and so much more, he knows the LORD once again and has been so great.... sure he has made some mistakes but he learned from the first time and moved ahead, so I do not call those true mistakes I call them an experienced he seized and learned from, we are as close as ever and I love him as I always have but now I am also so happy with him as a person as a man. GOD moved quick with him and every time I got worried about him or wanted to step in and guide him without his asking me to I would stop and say "Now if I have truly given him to GOD then what am I doing trying to take him back?" So I would just pray he is your son LORD I know you will protect him and show him the way.............and he does every time, that is my one true testament to faith true faith and I am watching it work in front of my eyes...................PRAISE GOD.

Now with Autism I try to do the same thing you see I said try although I know firsthand that it works to trust GOD to give him the control and get out of his way.........I do struggle when it comes to Joshua for his future and health, now how can that possibly be when I know GOD is real and the only answer? I do not know, I know as a human I falter daily over and over, but when I remember to keep out of it and just follow GODS lead and listen to how the LORD directs me with Joshua amazing things happen, they may seem small or big to others but to me they are amazing as GOD is again working right in front of my eyes. I guess what I am trying to say is this......GOD already has all of the answers, we just tend to get in the way or they are not the answers we (I) want......I want Joshua healed now, today, I want to know he will be okay and will function as a "normal" adult, I get in GODS way a lot......... I do not want to except any less then a full healing, even though I must remember Joshua is GODS son Joshua will be what GOD wants him to be, what he has already planned for him to be, no matter what GOD has for Joshua I will love him and will be here for him day by day for the rest of my life............whatever GOD has is more then I could ever even imagine for Joshua it is all perfect.

I do not know why I am writing this tonight but it is weighing heavy on my heart, maybe someone who is going to read this needs to hear it too (as do I) I need the reminder daily that my child is a gift from GOD (all of my kids are) we were picked to raise these ANGELS for a reason I can not explain that to everyone but it is true............we would not have picked this for ourselves that I do know, but instead of the "why me?" question I try to remember "why not me?" All I know is my future is involving Autism like it or not that is it....make the best of it.........or wither away miserably in sorrowfulness and waste away my life and my children's.......No I do not think so I will keep moving forward, fighting the fight, pioneering with the others who have used Stem Cells for their children, and sharing my story........the reason I share it??? Just to let someone who might read this know they are not alone, they are not living it alone, or the only one who feels hopeless or frustrated and sad...........sure we all go through it, the key is not staying in it, turn it over to GOD he will help you through it so much better then you could ever do on your own.

Man if I could just apply it to all of my life huh?? My job, my home, finances, family, life in general, etc..........What is wrong with me?? I know what to do yet I get stuck in trying to control it myself.........the human nature in me..........but I have tried to give it all over to GOD and I must say work is going better, sure we are losing our house but hey that is material, we will have a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, food to eat, and heat to warm us and most of all we have GOD, now that is true wealth I will take that any day of the week!

Good night to you all and GOD BLESS you and your family may GOD give you strength and cover you in his loving arms forever~~~Lori

Joshua's latest med decrease..

2009-01-26T18:06:00.000-08:00

January 26Th 2009 Monday

Here is Joshua in his "tunnel tent" having a swell time look at that smile! Man I love tents or forts, I miss being the kid who could play all day in a tent and be totally entertained. I wonder if I build myself a fort if it will entertain me now???? Probably not, oh the good ole' days...miss em!

Well my Joshua has been getting only the 1.5mg of the Risperdal at bedtime for only two days now but I am noticing it more then when we took him off of the 1.5mg in the morning. To me he is stimming a bit and he is louder and a bit less tolerant I think, but on the upside his teacher said he had a really good day, he did have a crying breakdown when one of his classmates was too loud during art (or something like that) towards the days end, when Gary got there he was all upset, Gary called me so Joshua could talk to me on the phone Joshua was crying not horribly....... and he said "I had a bad afternoon" and "I want to come see you mama" I told him I was at my other job and he couldn't come there because I was busy :( I told him I loved him and when I would be home, he was still crying, I told him if he would calm down then after speech therapy he could have one of his gluten free brownies, he said he would stop crying and calm down. He still had a shaky voice but he did stop crying and went to speech and did great, when he got home he did not even ask for the brownie (mostly with a deal like that he will call you on it as soon as he was out of therapy) He has complained a few times that Jacob is too loud so I think he is mainly just having some sensitivity to the sounds. But on the up side he is happy, he got over his crying very quickly, he is talking a lot, and playing with Jacob a lot and giving him hugs too (those are always good)

Mainly what I am reporting is quite minimal and I may be putting more on this 0.5mg less Risperdal then needs to be....... this certainly wouldn't be the first time I make more out of something then it really is ha ha ha (me? no not me! big smile) what is going on may just be Joshua, I certainly do not act the same everyday (just ask my husband) I am all over the place, just depends and I do not expect Joshua to act the same each day either.

I am happy with the weaning thus far, the small things I am noticing may just be a part of the process, I know it will be a drawn out process............. but I am patient (well I am! at least 1/2 of the time) No really I can wait this wean out, this is all a positive. Gotta go Gary made me dinner, what a luv!
My heart to you all, even if we have never met or spoke all of you are my hero's! ~~Lori

Lunchtime, Not too happy with Geron Corp.(embryonic stem cells) all a money game!

2009-01-26T12:29:00.001-08:00

Monday January 26Th 2009

Yes lunch again, but my husband told me about Geron Corp. this is the company who got the OK to use embryonic stem cells for a study with Paraplegic patients in the US. On the day they announced their "study" their stock jumped 56%....always about the money huh? Come to find out they have done this "study" before over seas this is not a pioneer study for them. They claim many things like their stem cells are not from a fertilized EGG (a fetus to me) only from a light procedure that "tricks" the egg into thinking it is fertilized but the egg can only split once and then they harvest the stem cells from there. Well it seems to me a company that acts like this is their first time doing this form of research (not true) may also be lying about the process to and of course it is all about BIG MONEY! Isn't it always...........it never is about helping people truly.......... it is all about the stocks, shareholders, and money, money, money. Maybe they are not liars, but it is hard to see past the smoke and mirrors with these types of companies......now do not get me wrong I know they do need money and they want to make some to.....but to me its like if these were Adult Stem Cells would this be such a big deal? Would their stock have more then doubled? I think they are just capitalizing on the controversy of the "embryonic thing" otherwise if you can get the undesignated cells from umbilical cord blood why not just do that? Well like I said I can support something if a fetus is not involved, but if it is I want nothing to do with it and no I am not judging those that support it or have abortions etc... (so no nasty emails please :) GOD judges us we are not here to judge each other only to help spread GODS word and do great works in his name. I just want the government to fund a study with Adult Stem Cells for AUTISM!! Autism!! What are they waiting for?? Sure go ahead and do the other studies but let's get moving on this it is already working on our kids and we have to go to other countries to get it......what a shame! Hopefully the new President elect will move on this (I know he helped us write an action for our state to push through a law for insurance to cover our Autistic children and he shared with us his plan for the Autism community and it was GREAT) I have it in my email if anyone would like to read it I can email it to you, just let me know. Anyway I learned about the stocks last night and could not wait for my lunch break today to write about it my son is not a dollar sign he is a living and breathing beautiful child he has had the stem cells and it is making a difference as it has for other children (read my page on our website http://www.stride4autism.com/ Can you handle the truth?) Look at the difference it has made for Mathew and I do mean a difference and his father is one of the most Educated people I have ever came across on Autism and treatment check out their website : http://recoveringmatthew.blogspot.com/ see what these Adult Stem Cells can do!! Plus Mathews Father Daniel can pretty much answer any questions you might have, he has helped me and my family medically and personally he is a great guy with a great family and believes in the Adult Stem Cells as much as we do.
Geron Corp. not happy with you and you shareholder ideals this is about peoples lives!
Lunch is over and I dropped some teriyaki (i hope i spelled that right hahah) chicken sauce on my tan pants GREAT now I have to walk around with a stain bummer :(
Love to all, stay strong, never give up.............Lori

We are officially giving Joshua only 1/2 of his medication!! Our foreclosure is beginning on our home..........it was inevitable.

2009-01-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

January 25Th 2009 Sunday

Well as of last night we dropped nightly dosage to 1.5 mg totaling only 2.0 mg per day down from 4.0mg. He is just fine this morning we have been playing and he is in a great mood.

Last night two times when Gary tried to put the Alpha Stim 100 on him he was not in a deep enough sleep and he aroused and told Gary "take it off daddy" so around 10:15 he was in a deep enough sleep and when Gary put it on that time he did not move.

Since Joshua's dosage of medication is down his appetite is not so huge, you see Risperdal makes people want to eat all day long, Joshua would feel that way, of course he never got overweight which is a big concern of doctors when they start a patient on it, they monitored his weight for months, but he is so "active" it never effected his weight. But the urge to eat was constant as soon as he would finish breakfast he would come back upstairs asking for a snack, and that went on pretty much all day long. But I have noticed a big decrease in the need to eat a lot since the weaning down of the medication.

If he does well on the slight drop in his nightly dose then in a week we will drop it another 0.5mg.........I tell you I just want to stop it and see what happens but I will not do that, never, as the side effects the body can have could be so negative he may wind up back on the full dose. That is just me being impatient as usual :) But when we go to Carlsbad CA to the Health Walk Center I want him as low as possible on the medication, I think it is imperative to get the "real" results of his body without medication, but that is only two weeks away and I do not see him being completely off of it by then, but I will take what I can get.

I just praise GOD for his healing power and for him making it possible for the stem cell treatment Joshua received, as you know I have said so many times that we do not see us being able to take him again so one time would need to do it and I believe one time can do it :)

Yah know when I say do it, I want to say heal him totally, but I believe whatever healing is going to be will be...........I am still in disbelief that we even went to Costa Rica and got the treatment, it is almost like a dream in my mind almost like I walked through the whole thing in a fog, like it happened but didn't happen...........I mean I have pictures to prove it and I know it did happen ......I just do not know how to explain it

I dream of Costa Rica often, almost like we live there or are moving there, it is odd............if I could move there and stay at the Marriott the rest of my life I would not complain that was so comfortable...............I never knew the huge difference in a nice Hotel and a huge phenomenal Resort.................I may never stay in a place like that again but I tell you what it sure makes you wish you had the money to enjoy that kind of place at least one time a year. I so miss their white chocolate mocha's with the cinnamon powder YUM!!! Also the very nice women Isabel that made them for me.

Anyway speaking of travel in two weeks we will be leaving to Carlsbad to the Health Walk Wellness Center for 3 days of some testing and some treatment for Joshua, I am really looking forward to what his blood tests are going to reveal, like what are they going to find? Will it answer our impending questions that we have had for so long? I am so excited to share the results with all of you I know they can look so far into Joshua with these tests they will find heavy metals, allergies, cellular information and so much more and not only am I excited for us I believe these are answers every child with Autism needs...... to know how to treat them successfully 100% naturally and it is SO MUCH MORE AFFORDABLE then most, I would much rather do this then go through a DAN doctor, as only a handful of places have the technology they have to do what they do I mean literally they can look inside of your body and break it all down and treat it correctly no guessing, no maybe, no we will see if this works..........I think it is priceless to find exactly the issues that are wrong intestinal, cellular, neurologically, etc.... and have the natural options to treat it right there at your finger tips. This is what I believe at this point, but after this all happens will be the true testimony, then I will not be unsure, I can tell exactly what happened, how it happened, and what we are doing for it, then I can tell each of you how it is working for Joshua. I am even thinking in about a year when I save up some money that I may have some of the testing done on me to find the root of my excessive tiredness, depression, and migraines and find out the exact way to treat it naturally, I have spent a lot of money on supplements and more to help but nothing has ever worked great only two things have made a difference in the intensity of the migraines and that is two B Complex vitamins daily and large amount of vitamin C. But my whole body still feels crappy, almost numb to things, the tightness in my neck and shoulders from stress is so bad I sit all day long be it at home or at work with a heating pad behind me. I know many of you get what I am saying you feal the same way.....here is the clincher I have felt that way long before Autism came into our family and the stresses of it. When you meet me you would not know I have all that going on because I am able to mask it but I always feel like pretty crappy kind of happy and crappy at the same time hahahaha...............I have feal old, ever since I turned 24 I have felt like this, my bad first marriage did not help 14 years of hell...... since the age of 16 till I was 30....I will be 40 this year in July. I think I might have aparty and your all invited!

OK so guess what it is snowing here! It snowed over Christmas but once that whole storm passed after about a week and a half it has been sunny everyday and beautiful of course cold and frosty in the mornings but so nice in the day it was the type of weather you just want to go out for a walk in with a light sweater on. It has rained some over the last two days and real cloudy, when I got up this morning it was snowing, Gary and the boys are going outside right now to "play" in it the kids are so excited they are ready to cry because Daddy is not moving fast enough to get them all bundled up and outside to play.............. he is doing the best he can, but you know kids it is never fast enough for them. So out they go into the snow and I am positive when they come in Jacob will be crying because he loves playing outside and never wants to come in.

Yesterday the Lawyers from our mortgage company called, they are in the mortgage resolution stage, it is a process that has to happen, we already know we can not afford the payment at all, we will try the short sale option which I already know it will not sell, the home was worth $335,000.00 last December 08' now it is worth $205,000.00 due to the mortgage crisis. We would love to have a deed in lieu of foreclosure done, where we sign over the deed and they do not have to foreclose but they said that is not offered in our options, but we are still shooting for it anyway that is one of the best things that could happen for us, then we will not have them coming after us for whatever the amount of money they do not get from the short sale or when they auction it off. Plus the VA loan would not have to pay the secured part they promise the bank when you get a VA Loan, we already know we will have to pay the VA Loan portion back if it does indeed foreclose we were already aware of that and I think that is over $70,000.00 whew!!!! But anyway it looks like we will have at least 3 months until we have to move, that is nice, the whole process of not knowing is the bad part. The whole thing is just so sad but after we both lost our jobs and everything we could not afford the house...........unfortunately this is a common occurrence these days and that is a tragedy!

Well off I go to, I have bills to pay yuck! Back to work tomorrow..........I will not complain about that (even though I want to) I will keep a post of Joshua moods over the week and see how the newest drop in his medication pans out.................

I pray it all does, I pray daily we are doing the right things for all of our kids (Gary and I), that we are making good decisions......and being good parents and fulfilling the needs of our kids........I am sure there is always better we can do, I will keep trying while also trying to keep myself sane....... hahahaha.

Love ya xoxoxoxoxo~~~Lori

Joshua's week, CBS EVENING NEWS REPORT ON STEM CELL TRIAL OK'd.......a weekend off BIG SMILES :) !

2009-01-23T21:58:00.000-08:00

January 23rd, 2009 Friday

TONIGHT ON THE CBS EVENING NEWS:

Stem Cell Study Gets Federal Go-Ahead Starting This Summer, U.S. Company Will Undertake Spinal Cord Treatment Research

Be aware this is an embryonic trial, this is not the Adult Stem Cells like Joshua received (Umbilical Cord Cells) they are however the same format of cells they are generic and undesignated.

At this point I know they use eggs that are donated and then with a use of a particular procedure (these eggs do not get fertilized they are "tricked" by the procedure) the egg thinks it is fertilized, but since it is not, it can not form a human, it can only form a cell then they harvest off of that cell and grow more. I am at this point not agreeing nor disagreeing with this procedure, my Christianity has me torn at this point if it was a truly fertilized egg (a fetus) then I can not endorse it (please no nasty grams for my personal beliefs I just do not endorse abortion) but when it is an egg that is going to just be destroyed otherwise, and is truly not fertilized and can not form into human life (no heartbeat!) then I am 100% for this and am excited about it for those choosing to do it! I am wondering if this is truly the case or are they are lying (about the fertilization process "trick")

Well we were going to start giving Joshua only 1.5mg of his Risperdal tonight dropping it down another .5mg........but Gary out of habit forgot and gave him the 2.0mg, so tomorrow night for sure we will begin the next phase of weaning off the med.

I do have good news though Joshua is now using the expression "hurt feelings" I asked him about school today and he said one of his classmates names "hurt my feelings today" for Joshua this is a huge expression for him to actually understand...... the light has turned on and he now understands what it means to have your feelings hurt, he would always say "I am sad." But in the last week he is able to tell us who or how his feelings got hurt, it is very promising and a big step for him, expression of feelings I feel is very important and he is able to express his feeling very well but he can now pick out "why he is sad inside or upset" not just because he is mad, it is because his feelings may be hurt. Now that he has opened that up he has been less likely to get so upset about some thing as he understands that his feelings are hurt and that he can get past it.

Also Joshua always tells me he is "sad" when I leave for work or he will say "I will miss you mommy" but today he said "Mommy I am sad because you are going to work" because being the link to tie the two together in a good sentence with the expression of feeling with the cause of the feeling included without me prompting his reply by saying "why are you sad?" and his reply being "I will miss you" he is using the because word appropriately, before this last week I would ask a question to a statement he would have made and he would say "because, because.....because.........." and then throw in the answer in another statement not link it all together.
I hope I am explaining it right so ya'll get what I am trying to say........... We are noticing things weekly with him and we are not at the 8th week since the stem cell therapy yet
(remember they told us 8 to 12 weeks after we should notice little snippets of what will be improving) So in the last 6 weeks since treatment many things have happened already, I am excited for the future and to be able to actually report the changes without a doubt. This treatment as I have said over and over needs to be trialed for Autism here in the US. This way others will be able to monitor the changes and get this treatment here available to all, weekly I am amazed and give praise to GOD for the healing.

Yeahooo the weekend is here, finally two days off in a row, they will fly by I am sure but I am just so happy to have them I do not care, I am going to stay in my jammies all day tomorrow and be a bum!! How fun is that?? Doesn't take much to entertain me these days ha ha! Work went well today which is very surprising but hey I will take it when I can get it!!

We are almost ready to offer a new item on our website store: We will be selling patterns tailored to a child's measurements for weighted vests!! We will be able to put in the measurements print out the pattern and people can tell us if they want zippers, buttons, velcro, and how much material they will need to sew it. Now someone will need to know how to sew to make one and follow the pattern (of course) but I think this will be a really good thing, many people hit on our site daily with my free "How to make a weighted vest page" it does not have a pattern, but it does have tips on how to make your own. So maybe this can help others and our Organization for Scholarships too. They will be very economical too.
Ok gotta go it is late I am tires and I am going to sleep in (I hope!)
Have a great weekend and keep up the fight, don't give up, don't get down, don't ask why, just stay strong, keep your faith, we will make it through this, each with our own story to tell, and precious children to enjoy!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL~~~Lori

SHOP iGive.com or SEARCH iSearhiGive.com and earn money for our Non Profit Stride for Autism.

2009-01-23T19:07:00.000-08:00

Once again just asking you to consider joining iGive.com it is free to sign up and if you shop ......Stride 4 Autism can earn money the stores donate a portion of your purchase. If you shop within 45 days of your sign up with your first purchase iGive.com will donate $5.00 to our foundation WOW! That can add up, you can choose to sign up and be added to the supporter list of Stride 4 Autism or remain anonymous your purchases will still count.

Hundreds of all of the TOP STORES!! Check it out @ http://www.igive.com/

Also if you click @ www.iSearchiGive.com/stride4autism and just search we can earn a penny for each search (remember hundreds of stores, pet meds, electronics, food, florists, and more)

**SPECIAL** now 2 pennies for each search before 1/31/09.

I know, I know a penny or two??? Not much??? Hey it adds up really!!!

All 725 stores are listed below on the right hand side, but please remember you have to be signed up for it to benefit Stride 4 Autism......help us Help others, it could be your child we help or your grandchild, niece, nephew, neighbor, or anyone effected by Autism.

Thank you~~~

Lori

Co-Founder of Stride 4 Autism

An affordable Cranial Electrical Stimulator CES.....

2009-01-22T15:19:00.000-08:00

January 22nd, 2009 Thursday

I found a unit for under $300.00 and it appears to be a good one.
Our unit cost about $800.00 and that is just not feasible for most people (we had to sell all of our tile we bought to put in the kitchen and my bathroom to afford ours)it is at:
http://RetrainABrain.com
Now once again I am informing you I am not endorsing this product I just feel so strongly about CES that if you can find an affordable unit and your child can get benefit from it then why not?? We got ours from:
http://AlleviaHealth.com

Please just remember you need a prescription from a doctor to purchase this, but I have herd that some insurance companies will cover these units if a neurologist orders it and the child suffers from severe anxiety behaviors. AGAIN that is what I have been told, please do not take only my word for it, research into it and see what you can find out.
Joshua is doing great with it, just great I can see a big diffeence in his calmness. I am going to try it this weekend on myself and see if I feel anything "different"

Gotta run be back soon, ME

Blood draw and another decrease in the Risperdal...?? And an article transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) in our local paper Hhhhmmm

2009-01-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

January 21st 2009 Wednesday
Hi there on my 15 minute break and decided to jot a few things down. This morning Joshua had to have blood drawn to be sent to Health Walk the Wellness center we are taking him to in February, so they can use it for allergy and cellular testing (I am sure more then that but that's all my brain can remember at the moment)
Anyway when he was little blood draws were a piece of cake (chocolate of course!!)
Well as he gets older this is not the case, today it took my husband to hold him, and a tech to hold his arm, plus the phlebotomist who had to draw the blood when she said "OK just a little poke" he started screaming at the top of his lings "not a little pokie, big pokie, BIG POKIEEEEE, the pokie hurts" The people in the waiting room probably thought they were cutting his arm off the way he was screaming out.......when I think of it, it was painful for him and I know this but it was a quick blood draw and done in a few seconds but his screaming was so loud I have to laugh because it was seriously like he was getting surgery without any anesthetic........ When it was over he continued to hold his arm straight out (the way they have him hold it to draw the blood) but he holds it straight out at shoulder length, even though he was all done he held it that way all the way home in the car, the entire time at home getting ready for school, he even tried to eat his breakfast with it sticking straight out, and when he got to school he was still doing it just not as high up, you could tell when he would forget about it his arm would start to relax and he would let it fall, but as soon as he remembered man out it would go as high as ever. Hopefully he did not hold it out the whole day at school. Poor Jacob who was in the room when Joshua got his blood drawn was a bit traumatized, when he got up out of his chair he said "I don't like blood Daddy" but Gary told him it was fine and he was not getting his blood drawn, the look on his face was pure relief! Joshua got over it immediately except for sticking out his arm for over an hour.........if he is still holding out when Gary picks him up it will be very funny.
So today is the 2ND week without his morning dose 1.5mg of the Risperdal, so on Friday night we have decided to take another 0.5mg away from his nightly dosage of 2.0mg, I am amazed and praising God that we have gotten him off of the 1.5mg so far, what a miracle!! As I said before this has been tried before but within a few days, he was back on because his behavior so much worse, but I have not seen any indication that he is even off of the morning dose.......this is an answer to prayer, I attribute this to GOD and for making it possible for Joshua to get the Adult Stem Cell Treatments in December. I will continue to keep you posted on each step we make with Joshua and his progress, regression, and more....whatever happens good or bad, I will put it here.
Their is an article in our newspaper today that has a link:
TITLE = Give your brain an electric shock, learn stuff faster.

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20090120-give-your-brain-an-electric-shock-learn-something-new.html

It talks about transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS).
I found it quite interesting, not exactly what we are doing with Joshua but very close. It states that Later this week, the Proceedings of the National Academies of Science will publish a paper that describes how stimulating the primary motor cortex can help people learn to perform a challenging task involving fine muscle control.
It also says: Strokes and many other types of brain damage often force their victims to relearn basic motor skills, from speech to walking. Given that tDCS is noninvasive and may help speed to recovery of these patients, I'd expect to see tests of its efficacy in the near future.
Very Promising!!
OK break over gotta run, be back soon ~~~~~ Enjoy your Wednesday!! ~~Lori

CES, work ugh!, a little depressed...but grateful too.....oh yeah and power rangers "fighting the baaaad guys!"

2009-01-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

January 20th 2009 Tuesday
Well here is Joshua last night sleeping with his CES (Alpha-Stim 100) on as you can see, it has little probes that clip softly on his earlobes, he never moves for the entire 20 minutes he has it on. Today I am home (whew! 1 whole day in an 8 day stretch)and his teacher said he had a really good day today. I guess last Friday he had an issue at school I do not know what happened but he was upset and his wonderful aide was trying to help him and he got more upset and said in a slow, deep voice..."don't touch me!" poor Ms Ray got her feelings hurt, he has never done that to her, now with us it was an everyday occurence more then one time a day as of a few months ago and we are hearing it maybe 2 times a week now but man the way he says it is not nice. Ms. Ray if you read this please do not be hurt by that, it is just a line he picked up from a movie and when he is upset and trying to express it he throws it around like a ball, along with "I'm so not taking you to dinner" "I am outta here" and "Don't do it Daddy!" and many more other phrases he uses when he's upset, he has a list he goes through sometimes it is only 1 or 2 words other times it is all 5 or 6 of them. He loves his teachers and Ms. Ray very much he tells me all of the time but he will pull out his "angry" words periodically, they do not deserve it because they are so wonderful!!
I am praying that the Alpha-Stim will aid in his anxiety, it is widely used for that and other things but my main focus is the anxiety.
He has been very joyful today, he has been home about 3 hours and is doing splendindly, he has been running around in his Power Ranger costume he loves that thing, and he likes it when him and I "go fight the baaaad guys" (that is how he says it) Today he was walking down the stairs and said "come on mommy lets go fight the baaad guys!" Well fighting the bad guys is fighting with your shadow on the wall, I have to be careful sometimes I get going and end up hitting myself or the wall doing one of my Karate moves....now you may not consider me a black belt but Joshua doesn't know any better, if a neighbor saw me doing that through the window they would probably think I was drunk or something (I do not drink just so you know)
I do not even like my husband to see me giving the bad guys the beat down, it is pretty funny but not so funny when I slam my hand on the wall by accident.
Gary had an old pocket watch and was trying to trade it on Craig's List to get a guitar for the boys to learn on (an electric) they have a little cheapy one they play with all of the time and love it. I did not think it would happen but a very kind man saw Gary's ad and traded him for 2 guitars (full size) and an amp. I was shocked we tried to sell the pocket watch in the past to get some money but it never sold, and the pawn shock wanted to give us like $30.00 or some low ball offer like that..... the guy has a band and has been playing for years, he said he really supports kids and music and was so kind to do that for our kids. I will post a picture of each boy down on the right side so you can see the boys with these huge guitars, they have to sit down to hold them. I think Gary is trying to learn chords slowly and then teach the boys too so they are all learning together......
I feel like all I do is work and do not see my kids enough, and it is getting to me definetley, I have depression (I have dealt with it since 1991) and though I try very hard not to let it get to me, it has me a bit right now, not like I do not feel like I always write about, all of the positive things and all........I still feel that way I just get these clouds over me and it focuses mainly all on work, not on Autism, just work and money issues (same as so many) last year at this time was so different work wise I only worked 3 12 hour shifts Sun Mon and Tuesdays, had 4 days off made more money at my job, and Gary worked his night job for 5 hours a night at Home Depot, now I work day after day after day and still not enough money to pay for our home and bills. And Home Depot no longer has a night shift for Gary to work. It could be so much worse, this I know and since last year many great things have happened with Joshua getting Stem Cell Treatment and all I am very grateful to even have a job TRULY I am! I try to rationalize with myself all of the time and get myself out of the depression but it is not working this time, all my tricks are not working, I think because I do not see an end in sight for my work situation unless we move to another state. I have been looking all over the US trying to see if another place is the answer, this is very confusing and stressful, and moving is not cheap..........or how do you take Joshua away from his wonderful teacher and the same kids he has been in school with the last 3 years??? How do you know if where you choose would have as great of a teacher as he has here?? Gary and I have already agreed IF Joshua does not mature accordingly as we are praying for then once 5th or
6th grade comes he will be home schooled I can not knowingly send my son to public school (even though he would have the same great teacher through 6th grade) where he will be subject to others teasing and nastiness, when they are little it is not as bad but when they get older they change and certain ones choose to pick on our kids because they are different then they are, I will not tolerate it, I will not let that happen to him. Or instead of home school move to a place that has a school just for those with Autism a Charter School as we could not ever afford the cost of any private school I have seen so far that is for Autisitc children. I am not "bashing" tuition for those that can afford it DO IT!! I by all means encourage it, I am just stating that for us as far as I can tell it will not be an option, unless it is GODS will and then of course it will happen :}
Ok well I am out of here, as of 5:00pm tonight I am on call from 5:00pm to 8:00am on weekdays and 24 hours on the weekend until next Tuesday night. This is my 2nd job it is home care and when you are on call you do not plan on doing anything because you can get called at any minute, I am no fan of on call, I do not like it and your days off do not feel like days off because you are sitting around all day and night just in case you get a call, and no it doesn't pay well a little over $1.00 an hour to be on call. I am so worried because I work my other job the next 2 days and if I was to get a call in the night and have to go I could not get any sleep at all and then have to work, or not even get home in time to get ready for work and make it on time so this is a bad thing for me. I tried my best to not be on call, but the other Full Time Therapist wanted a week with no on call, maybe this has a bit to do with my depression also, as my weekend off is now ruined. Don't worry if my boss reads this he will not be surprised I already have said the exact same thing to him, he of course said I did not have to do it this week but I can not do it next week because I work on the weekend so that is a no no!!
So let me quit my whining and go see what my little boys, my angels are doing and enjoy them while I can!!! I am jealous of those mommies or daddies who get to stay home everyday with their kids, and they probably wish they could go to work for a few hours to get away :}.......... But those of you who do get the honor to stay at home with your kids what a blessing it is to be able to be such an important part of your childrens lives and their growing experiences.
Love to all~~~Lori

Howdy....still here, just exhausted!! Started the Alpha Stim!!!

2009-01-17T13:18:00.000-08:00

January 17Th 2009 Saturday.

Here I am at work again and boy I tell you I am just dragging whew!
Below I have put the link in to an offer for a free DVD from
The Son-Rise Treatment Center, it shows the actual program and gives some tips for you to use at home with your child. Now as I say every time I am not endorsing this program over another, I am only passing on an avenue for possible help for others I do not agree nor do I disagree with techniques given. Many people have used the Son Rise Program and had amazing results, we did at one time want to do the program it was just to pricey for us and we thought if we are putting out a lot of money then it was going to be for the stem cells. I do however have to say they have amazing results, I believe personally in what they are doing and have families who will back up the program because they have done it and it has shown to work

Below is the link I received via email:
Now Available
Autism Solution: Getting Started with The Son-Rise Program. To
view this film and a chance to order a free DVD, please visit:

http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/solution

Click on the left hand side of that page on "Order Video"

Also here is a link to UC Davis of California's M.I.N.D. Institute it talks about the increase in Autism in CA is not because of better counting or more being diagnosed properly, once again this is for informative purposes I do not know nor pretend to know if these are factual results, though I tend to believe The M.I.N.D. Institutes programs........... click on the link: http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/mindinstitute/newsroom/newsdetail.html?key=1861&svr=http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu&table=published

To BAD they are not testing Adult Stem Cells.... it is so frustrating when you know a facility such as The M.I.N.D Institute has the capability but they do not pursue it....they instead have many trails "now open for enrollment" on Risperdal also known as RISPERDONE)......remember this is the drug we are trying to get my Joshua off of as it slowly atrophies the "frontal lobe of the brain" which you can read all about on this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe (with pictures too!!)
now this mainly speaks of schizophrenia but that is what Risperdal was created for and now has the FDA approval to use on children with Autism. I say we want to take Joshua off of it, and we do because it can have dangerous effects long term. But it is the only drug that made him calm enough to let him have some quality of life at a time when we had tried so many other meds and they did not work in positive ways so I am not bashing a parent for letting their child take Risperdal if really needed, I just would like to see Joshua off of it for good to maintain his health in the frontal lobe of the brain and not damage it from the long term Risperdal use. And no I do not need any of those nasty gram mailed to me saying what a horrible person I am for "drugging" my child thank you, maybe another time :)

We started the CES with the Alpha Stim- 100 last night, we tried to start it while Joshua was awake but he was having none of that he made up all kinds of excuses not to put it on like.....I have to go to the bathroom, I am thirsty, I am hungry, I want a snack, I do not feel good, and the best one of all I have a headache (now that is a classic ha ha)
So Gary decided to place it on him while he slept, so he crept into Joshua's room and placed two ear clips on (one on each ear) turned on the machine and Joshua did not even move the entire time it was on him I believe that is about 20 minutes. So that was a positive, we will keep this up as directed and see how it goes from there........ I really do not want to try anything else before we go to Health Walk next month as I want everything to be in it's working or non working order just as it is so we can target it and help heal it, not mask it with something else right now like another supplement or things along that nature. I would love to have him off of the Risperdal entirely by February 8Th but I am unsure that will be possible with trying to slowly wean him off of the med, I am hopeful to get to 3/4 less then he is ordered to take :} So far he is tolerating the 2.5mg (down from 4mg) well, and I only attribute that to the stem cell treatment he received, nothing else...well of course GOD!
But we have tried multiple times to take him off and he never could tolerate it, so the only thing different this time is the stem cells........so keep Joshua in your prayers that he will be able to get off of this medication 100%, and I thank you in advance for that :)
Well back to work lunch time is officially over :(
I ate while I was typing and I do not even know if it tasted good I was so involved with this I can not remember eating most of it :}
Till the next blog Adios ~~~~ Lori

Another day down......not to bad

2009-01-13T18:20:00.000-08:00

January 13th 2009 Tuesday
Well I must say it is another day down for Joshua without his morning medication and he had another really great day at school (a great day to me is doing his work and not having meltdowns that take hours to calm. Yesterday he had a great day at school too the only problem was he put his scissors in his mouth and Ms. Ray had to take them from him so he cried a bit about that but got over it pretty quickly from what I understand and then he went to speech therapy and did good too.
Last night at home he seemed well, no crying and he went to sleep no problem. Gary brought him and Jacob to see me for about 5 minutes today at work, he was joyful and full of energy (that is never a problem, the energy part) he was happy to tell me he had been a good boy today.
Tomorrow I am going to start the Cranial Electrical Stimulation CES (FINALLY!!) with the Alpha Stime-100. At least I am hoping to..........I have another 2 days off, but then I will work 4 ten hour shifts with one day off and then 3 more on, but I will survive I am quite sure. Yesterday in my car I was at the job I do home care at, I had to drive all the way to Fernley NV it was about 45 minutes for me to get to the house I had to go to. Well during my 45 minutes there and back I blasted my radio and sang in my car, I was dancing as best I could while driving safely, it was such a release of stress, I might have to do that more often, I listen to my radio in the car when I drive around town (except on my way to work I pray during that time) but when you are driving around town and hitting every single stop light you just do not feel the same as when your on the open highway with no stop lights. They were playing some good dance music from when I was in high school and after so that would be 1987 (graduated) and into the 90's and of course a lot of today's music too it was fun I am sure if people would have seen me they probably would think something was wrong with me, but anytime anyone was real close or next to me I just sang and moved my head around a little.
I think I probably burned some calories too.....that is my new workout.....dancing away the pounds while driving in your car..ha ha pretty soon everyone will be jumping around in their car trying to lose weight.......now that would be funny..... but probably dangerous too. Well needless to say it made me happy I love dancing always have I miss those days when I was younger and would go out dancing, man that was so much fun!
Well my break is over........I have to go :{But I will be back soon, I am working on the page for Health Walk the center we will be taking Joshua to in February, I will be putting it on our website and it will have all of their information, I will put a link on here too, so if you want to see it you can or email it to someone.Well I will let you know how the CES goes I think I will try it on myself first, it is supposed to be great for migraines and anxiety both of which I suffer from severely, so maybe besides helping Joshua it will help me to...............
Till later xoxoxoxox~~~ Lori

Oh I need some peace and quiet tonight or a long long NAP, just one of those days ya know?

2009-01-11T17:56:00.000-08:00

Well two days off and they ran by so fast I am confused as to where they went...........
We still have Joshua off of the morning Risperdal, he is doing OK, when he is happy it is great but when one thing happens that he does not like it is a meltdown for a long time yelling, crying, mad, etc he keeps walking around saying the sound "xs" like at the end of the word "ox".........
he is saying it constantly he was reading and did not say the word "walks" the right way in the end so Gary was working with him on pronouncing the end of the words the "ks" part and now he chosen that sound to be his new perseveration.
This morning he did well playing laughing etc, then he went to the park...........ever since the park he has been completely on an emotional roller coaster, we have put him in bed already because it is getting to be much for all of us (well he is supposed to be in bed but I hear Gary down there as I am writing and it sounds like they are wrestling around and stuff) He would not get his pajamas on after the bath so I had to pull out the old "if you do not stop yelling and crying by the count of three you are going in time out" well needless to say he calmed it down but then within a couple minutes he was back on stage whooping it up, he is stuck on "Jacob broke the computer" he thinks for some reason unknown to me, that Jacob broke the computer we keep telling him it is fine but he keeps on saying it and then yells out his mad word "one hundred!" it is kinda funny but not so much when he is yelling and stomping around telling us to "stop it" or "don't do it mommy" or the all time favorite "Jacob is too loud" most of the time when this happens Jacob is humming a song, or making a noise with paper or some object, or just sitting quietly my poor Jacob..............but Jacob has learned to stand up for himself so if Joshua says "Jacob be quite" Jacob says "no" or "be happy Josh" when he does talk back to Joshua ..... oh look out someone must have cancelled the Disney Channel because then Joshua starts really shouting and says "Jacob told me no! Put him in time out" He blames at least 3/4 of anything on Jacob.
Thankfully my Jacob is a happy boy, he is behind in his speech but not too bad the doctors say it is because of being around Joshua, but anyway.... he is such a happy boy he sings and hums, he talks to himself when playing with toys, and he always wants to be right by you or on your lap. I feel bad for him sometimes being brought into this but I believe he has such a great personality that he will be fine. He smiles more then anyone I know and that in itself is a huge blessing.
I will be working the next 2 days and then I am off again for 2, then my long stretch starts all over again ......... My throat is sore I believe it is because I am exhausted, even though I am off I slept horrible last night so I feel worse then 2 days ago. I did however get to watch a movie on my computer late last night so that was a nice treat. I do not get to do that often so it was great to me.
Gary is back from Joshua's room and it is all quiet now, Gary said Joshua is watching B Movie all snuggled into bed relaxing. That is the best thing for him right now, well for all of us. I have a bad headache from all the shouting and crying and this is not like tear crying this is the sound of crying loudly but no tears so it is even worse to me at that point. I am sure it is due to the decrease in the Risperdal too, but then again maybe not, it is so hard with Autism as you know, you try to pinpoint the behaviors trigger.......what did he eat? Has he had his daily supplements? How did he sleep? Does he not feel well? Is it because of the medication? Sometimes you just can not pin point the cause it just is............ it just is Autism. But now it is starting to wind down a bit and I am hopping my throat and headache will be getting better by tomorrow morning, I do not like feeling like this when I work (well no one does right?) If I had any sick time I might just call off to work but I do not and I can not afford to lose a days pay right now, so if I am sick I go anyway.
I am very tired right now and hope to get to bed soon!!!! Just a little blog this evening telling of Joshua's behaviors he will be back at school tomorrow so we will see if he has good days this week I pray he does and we can continue with the medication taper that would be so amazing!!
I told everyone when we went to get the Stem Cell Treatment that if he could end up at least getting off the medication I would be beyond thrilled and I will be still, if he can get down to half I will still be happy...............time will tell. I am just here to do Gods work in raising Joshua the best that I can no matter what that is my real job, my real meaning.
Goodnight all ~~~ Hope your weekend was extra special~~~Lori

A great day and a spelling test!!

2009-01-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

January 8Th 2009

Well I said I would monitor Joshua tonight and he is doing very well, when I got home he was his usual self very excited to see me. BUT I was on the cell phone and he "calmly" key word "calmly" went and sat on the recliner chair holding a piece of paper waiting for me to get off of the phone......never ever has he EVER waited for me to get off of the phone he ALWAYS interrupts MULTIPLE times. I hung up after about 3 minutes and then he came to me with a paper with 10 words on it......it was his homework practice spelling test, he told me each word twice, then spelled them out loud for me, then showed me the paper......sure enough he wrote each word and spelled them all right. Now this is the child who would scream and cry to even hold a pencil in his hand before his Stem Cell Therapy and as many of you read in my old Blog on our website www.stride4autism.com he started writing on his own in the Hotel room after his second treatment I believe.

I have not pushed the writing with him since then, but this well, this is amazing the whole thing the waiting to show me, then calmly reading it to me, oh he was so proud a huge smile as you can see on his face in the picture above!! Joshua this week has done a whole packet of homework math, reading with comprehension, and spelling. Now there was some movie talk tonight and a song came on the radio in his room he did not like and he cried for us to "change the song" but it did not last very long and he went right to sleep. He did well today his teacher said and he went to speech therapy, then came home and did homework. Now as I have said many times before Joshua has always been able to read, he just could, no one taught him he just memorized the words and that was that. But the writing was always a struggle, we are talking a straight up meltdown in the classroom because he did not want to write anything or hold a pencil at all, finally a weighted pencil helped him with that sensory issue, but he has no weighted pencil at home this was just a normal pencil. Gary said he did whine a bit during home work math mainly, but he did it all on his own.

I pray the Risperdal will be a thing of the past in 2009.

Any progress my son may make I attribute to Adult Stem Therapy, but as I have said before and will stand by it, it is too early to get too excited on changes, they may happen today but may not tomorrow, now if in 6 months they are continuing.........then............yes.... then I will be convinced of a change. But for today he did well, and for the first time in his ENTIRE life I saw him sit and wait calmly for about 3 minutes waiting for me to finish on the phone so he could show me his spelling homework, today I will always remember...... if it never happens again I will never forget the look on his face as he waited..... a big smile and he looked at his paper so proud just waiting to share it with me, to me it was breathtaking, a first, I pray not a last, but you never know if or when it will show itself again. In the picture above I share his joy of his homework spelling test so you may see his happiness.

I love the happiness when it is there it is so beautiful, so deeply touching, and had it not been for Autism I may not ever have noticed it or appreciated it so much as I do tonight. Thank you GOD I needed that tonight!! Thanks to those of you who are reading this and sharing it with me tonight, tomorrow, or later down the road..........

Oh yes tomorrow it may be another good day or it may be a normal bad day, only tomorrow will tell and I shall pass it on to you.

Goodnight and God Bless ~~~Lori

Do we dare take a step to start weaning him off of his Risperdal??......yes.....

2009-01-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

January 8Th 2009
You guessed it lunch time again, you would think I would be really skinny since I use my lunchtime to write on this blog huh?? Well no.....unfortunately not!!
Well yesterday was the first day.... we are starting a very slow wean on my sons medication Risperdal, he takes 4 mg total/day =
1.5 mg in the morning
0.5 mg at noon
and 2.0 mg before bedtime.
We decided instead of cutting a little from each dose we will start with eliminating the morning dosage for at least two weeks and document any results noted. So, that started yesterday morning, he had a great day at school no crying...but as we all know it takes a good two weeks to see a true result of weaning down medication as it already is at a peak level in the bloodstream.
Again today he did not get the 1.5 mg this morning and off to school he went, it is near time for school to get out and no phone calls saying he had a major meltdown at school so far. After I get home tonight I will speak with Gary and see how his day went at school and monitor his mood this evening. If we think it is having a negative effect we will give him a dose of 0.5 mg in the morning and see how he does with that. All of you know how badly I want him off of this medication. It has only been almost 4 weeks (tomorrow) since his last dose of Adult Stem Cells, that is only 28 days ago, I can not believe it is only 28 days since I returned from Costa Rica it seems like two to three months ago, I find myself really missing it there, it was such a nice time and we saw some gorgeous countryside!
As you all know it takes a very long time for stem cells and I think it is to soon to even speculate about changes for him, but we do make comments on certain things. I just think the Risperdal needs to go away and this is our first attempt after Stem Cell Therapy, if I were not a Medical Practitioner I would not feel comfortable to do this but since I have been in the medical field for 16 years I feel safe in doing a slow wean. A medication like that can not be good for the fresh stem cells either, I would love to have him off of it by the time we go down to Carlsbad next month so that all the testing results will not be tainted by medication.
I have one more day to go of work, and I will finally have 2 in a row off.......I am dying here since,
January 30Th I have only had 2 days off and they were separate! I am not trying to be a whiner I am just tired that's all. I am grateful to be able to work two PT jobs I just wish they could just be 5 days in a row with 2 off then back for 5 and 2 off, but no way not when you have to work with other people and scheduling, you have to work around their schedule and it is hard. If I did not have children this would be no problem, but when you are away so much from them it is sad, it hurts my heart whether we have a bad day with Joshua or a good day I miss my boys, I get to see them in the morning and then I spend time with them at night but it is not the same, and on my days off I will probably have to clean my whole bathroom and my room, etc...so that takes time away from them to. :{
(not happy Bob, ha ha Joshua used to say that all of the time when he wasn't happy, I use it now for certain things)
We are waiting to hear when we will have to leave our home (it is being foreclosed on) we figure probably in February we will have to move, it makes me so sad I wish they would just renegotiate the loan and let us pay what we can instead of them taking it back, and it sitting for a year or so empty, they will never get what is owing on it, it has depreciated about $100,000.00 since we bought it a year ago. Had I not lost my job and so on we could have probably made it through this but at the time it is like OK we have some money do we make up two of the 4 months we are behind on the house (and still not be able to make the payments or get caught up) or do we go ahead and take Joshua to Costa Rica and give him a shot?? Well you already know that answer.......... we have stopped paying our credit cards to....I feel like a lousy bum it is only about $5,000.00 worth but we can not make those payments and still pay the electric, food, car payments (and we need a car to go to work) and car ins. I want them to close the accounts and one at a time I will pay them off, and such plus we are paying my mom back for all the money she helped us get for Joshua and for all of the brand new carpeting we had to put in the house when we moved in.....man I just want to rip up all that carpet and take it back to the store and say please give me a refund!! That is almost $5,000.00 down the drain and I got the cheapest carpet Home Depot had! It was a lot of carpet as the house is 2300 sq.ft and lots of labor costs involved in that, my bathroom still just has backer board down (we were putting in tile) when we knew we were losing the house, we ended up selling the tile we had bought it cost us about $1,200.00 that is also on the Home Depot Bill too OUCH!! We only got $700.00 for the tile. The tile we bought was a close out so it could not be returned, we had bought all of the extras needed to install it ourselves to, but we sold it and paid bills...I would have loved to put it towards the home depot bill but it wasn't an option.
OK enough of me crying the blues............... I really have nothing to be upset about we are able to eat and work and have some wonderful opportunities for our son thanks to some people who have helped us out!! Thanks to Health Walk who will be seeing our son next month too, they are very generous in their support for Joshua!
Well Gary just called me at work, he just picked Joshua up from school and he had another good day no meltdowns, I hope and pray that will continue so that dreadful Risperdal can be taken out of his life forever!! They are on their way to speech therapy Joshua has been in speech therapy for over 2 years two days a week, I sometime wonder if he was not able to get the therapy how would he be today?? Could we not understand him at all?? Well I do not want to know I am just grateful that the state of Nevada has the Katie Beckett program that allows Joshua to get speech therapy, I am thankful for that everyday because if it were my insurance through work well you know that story..........they do not cover Autism for anything!! Period!
OK well off to work my lunch is over :{
I will be back soon ~~ and hey why don't some of you drop me a line here or there and tell me what you think of this blog?? I would like to know........ :}
Ta Ta ~~~ Lori

Ok I am finally able to talk about the center we will be taking Joshua to in February

2009-01-07T17:41:00.000-08:00

January 7th 2009
OK I am finally sure we will be pursing this treatment for Joshua so I am ready to write about it and share what is going on..................
The organization itself is called Health Walk out of Carlsbad CA. We will be taking Joshua down in February for three days during our time there he will be receiving these forms of testing (see links below) and 8 sessions of brain technology. It is amazing work and it can answer so many questions as to what is going on with our kids internally, the root of what is causing certain behaviors. I believe wholeheartedly in this safe therapy. This is a center for holistic therapies mainly through supplements, but the key element is through their testing,
they can pinpoint actual problem areas going on within Joshua, we will not be "guess treating him" if he shows deficiencies or other issues we will strictly treat for those, not just take a lot of things and hope they work. They will be breaking down so many things with Joshua's entire system, and we in turn will watch the results of the tests and have them totally mapped out for us.
Please click on these links here to see exactly what Joshua will be receiving.

Vital Hematology
MindSoul Brain Technologies
Comprehensive Wellness Profile
Neurotransmitter Profile
Galvanic Skin Response

The companies website is http://www.healthwalk.com/

I really want to share each and every step of this with all of you, so that again I will be speaking from experience, not just an endorsement. I will be able to break down everything in Joshua's system that is not working correctly and share that with you. I think this is so exciting.....I feel this is the perfect treatment following the Adult Stem Cells Infusion therapy he received in Cosat Rica. What else could possibly be better then giving Joshua thousands of fresh cells and then following up to see where his body and system is lacking and treat that too, so that the new cells will have a clean environment to work in they will not have to work so hard in trying to clear out problems within him, they will be spared of that part (even though many are already working in those areas) I just feel very good about this whole process and though it can run to be some money the cost is NOTHING compared to other treatments we purchase and never work because we are guess treating our kids.........I mean get to the root and treat it, and follow up later and you will be able to see all the changes that are happening or have happened through the same forms of testing, how amazing would it be one year later to take Joshua back and run the tests again and see how much progress his system has made??
When you go on their site they have packages the one package for
ADD/ADHD/Learning Disabilities starts at $1,445.00 the brain technology sessions will be
additional as will the supplements.
Remember this is Holistic therapy but with HIGH Tech Testing. Please read all about the Center and their therapies, I believe this in the long run is so much more economical for us to treat our kids and it is safe, then to buy all kinds of different remedies that we are unsure they are even in need of.
You can raise the money through a garage sale fundraiser or two by getting lots of donation from your community to sell at the sale, call up the media tell them what you are doing have them do a little story on it, advertise for free on Craig's List about the sale and people will come!! You can put a wanted ad on Craig's List for donation items needed to help get your child treatment, I speak from experience we have done it, all we needed was some time and storage space to put all of the donations, it took Gary about 3 weeks of going on pickup runs to get all of the stuff we had for our really large sale and as soon as spring time hits and the garage sales start happening again WHAM! Those sale people will be itching to get out of the house and go
Sell Cookies at the sale, and coffee:
go to your local grocery stores and ask for Cookie donations some will say no but many will say yes and most local Starbucks always donate big earns of coffee for your fundraiser we have never had one turn us down yet, but like I said is go to many stores and many different coffee places ask for cups at one, creamer at another, napkins etc.......it all will come together, just make sure you have a letter stating what the donation is for have your story memorized in your brain so when they ask you questions you are ready with an answer, tell them about the form of therapy you are pursuing and how much you are looking to raise. Make up some flyer's for the stores to post, banks love to post flyer's in their windows to help to, your job is a great place to get the word out, tell all of your friends and neighbors have them take some flyer's to and the word will spread. If you belong to a church look to them to help ask for volunteers to help set up, sell , and clean up after the sale, and very important call a thrift store or another organization and make an appointment for them to pick up what you do not sell, if you can a Fri, Sat, Sunday sale is your best bet or at least 2 of those days.... have a few trash cans for people too so they can throw away their trash and not litter your sale area, if your able sell soda pop and chips or something else.......if your going to Costco for donations of soda or chips etc, give them a month notice they have to be notified a month before the event and they always donate a lot of things they are great!!
If your child goes to school have small flyer's printed up (Kinko's and other places will donate these especially if they are small say 4 squares on a page in black and white) when you want large ones and with color you tend not to get very many if any, this way you can cut out the 4 small flyer's yourself bundle them up and have all of the teachers pass them out to their students you will get lots of support, maybe even have a donation day at the school where kids can bring in an item or two for you to sell at your garage sale. CAUTION try not to take any large furniture, mattresses, TVS, or stuffed animals, they take up WAY too much room and are hard to get rid of, plus most thrift stores will not take them from you and then you are left with them after the sale. When you advertise it just say "do to storage limits we are unable to take furniture or stuffed animals."
Kids clothes sell the best so try to steer your ad towards kids clothes needed for the sale, if you get tons of adult clothes just put them in boxes get Wal Mart to donate a bunch of bags and sell the clothes as "$5.00/bag stuff as much in as you can!!" If you wind up with some good stuff left over box it up and keep it and have a smaller sale you could raise a hundred dollars or so at a later date or sell it on Craig's List too for those who do not know http://www.craigslist.com/ is a free site and it is HUGE throughout the US you are able to advertise in your area and it is all free!!! Check it out!! It has been our advertising tool for many things and it works great!!
Well there is my advise on a pretty easy fundraiser just do not be afraid to ask people for help and most people can always find at least one nice thing to donate for your cause. OH YEAH have a nice donation box with a picture of your child on it during the sale so those who do not find anything to purchase can throw a dollar or two in it as they leave.
Take care I should be back tomorrow of course I am at work on my lunch writing this as usual otherwise I do not have the time~~~Lori

I found it....thanks to my husband

2009-01-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

January 5th 2009
So here is the story as I remembered it about a year ago, and decided to write it down to keep it in my mind in order.
It really once I read it is so close to what I wrote the other day it is surprising.....I guess it is just something you do not forget huh???
So I started it out after I had been in an induced state of labor all day, night and into the next morning I finally had had enough pain and decided I was getting out of bed and going home and told them "they were not doing anything anyway to help" ....I have a horrible reaction to my labor being induced I have a bad side effect to the Pitosin used to induce I have pure back labor and it never stops I stay at full contraction, they never start, peak and then stop, they just peak and never stop.................. here it is:

Oh I am in pain, I feel so groggy my husband is crying I am moaning. I look at the clock on the wall it says 1:30 am I have been at this for 17 hours……no it can’t be, maybe I am wrong about what time I got here. Oh the pain I feel it’s as though I am being stabbed throughout my lower back with a huge butcher knife over and over how many epidurals can I have they are not working. it keeps happening I am out for a little while then awakened by excruciating pain it my back. I am crying I realize it now, I am actually sobbing as I become more alert I yell out ‘help me please oh please I can not take anymore pain” I think I am screaming out, even though my mouth feels like dry cotton, because people are running into the room. They are scrambling all around me, I am trying to get out of the bed yelling “I do not care if they cut me please help me please.” The nurse says “we are going to help you, we are I promise, the doctor has called in the surgery team, get back in bed we are taking you to surgery,” I am out of it I look over to my dad and grandma she is crying I think he is too, where is my son there he is, he is scared they tell him your mom is going to be fine. I am sorry I let him come to the hospital now, this was supposed to be a great time. I try to smile at him as they wheel me out but I am crying and in so much pain I do not know if he could tell. I see the bright lights in the hallway they are moving very quickly, they are strapping down my arms and have put a sheet in front of my face. I can not feel myself breathing, I can not feel anything below my neck. I am panicking. But the anesthesiologist leans down to me and says “you are fine just concentrate on breathing, you will feel the air through your nose or mouth it is just the medication I am right her,” I throw up.
The next thing I know I hear a cry he is here it is done oh thank you God. I think I drifted off to sleep but come to as my husband is telling me he is 10lbs 7oz, no wonder he couldn't get out, a cesarean section was the only option at this point. I look at the clock in my room, how did I get back here? It is 5:30 in the morning they just brought our baby in to us, I am wiped out still very groggy from all of the drugs, I am holding him he is so swollen I am thinking he should have been taken so much earlier he suffered for over 17 hours in the birth canal and his head and face are proof of it, it looks like a huge red tomato his eyes are swollen shut. My husband takes him as I am drifting back to sleep. The baby is fussy he is not eating my husband is trying everything to get him calmed down I say to him “something is wrong with him,” my husband says “what?” I repeat myself and add in a slow groggy voice “something is wrong I mean really wrong I can tell by his cry it is different,”

Happy 1st Birthday!!! We all sing happily, our son Joshua is one year old today and we are having a big party at our new home in Nevada. Just last month we moved from Oregon to Nevada for job purposes left my Dad and Grandma and all of Gary my husbands family it was so sad. This year has been extremely hard I had quit my job at the VA Hospital to stay home with Joshua, the decision was made before he was born and thankfully so. My precious son has issues he can not sleep, maybe 1 hour at a time at night he is up every 30 minutes to an hour two times the entire year he slept over 2 hours at one time, for 6 months we had to wrap him in the tight burrito wrap that they do for newborns in the hospital to make them feel safe as though in the mothers womb. We had bought every lullaby CD out, every classic, country, jazz, contemporary CD in hopes one of the songs would help him sleep. The only time he would sleep well was in his swing while watching a certain video that had these vibrant colors in them. He would be in the swing 5 to 6 hours a day because if you took him out he would cry all the time he was so uncomfortable. The doctors said “oh he has colic try gas drops” did it for months did not help, then it was “oh he is allergic to his formula put him on soy” no did not help gave him gas and then he needed the gas drops. He did like baby foods only certain ones some as soon as you put it in his mouth it was like it was straight vinegar, he would get this look and spit it right back out. He loved the pacifier and we had a strap on it with a clip so it could clip on his clothes and if he dropped it, it wouldn’t hit the floor and get away from us it would just hang there. He has to have that strap wrapped around one side of the pacifier touching his skin if it wasn’t wrapped he would not take the pacifier, he would take it out of his mouth and wrap it himself until he got it right. He would laugh and smile but he was very serious and cried so much you could not take him to a restaurant he would not settle down at all so we stopped going out to them. What is wrong we wondered?? People said “oh he will grow out of it,” he was not talking only making little sounds he was sitting up and crawling all over the place, no attempts to walk. Others said “he is just frustrated because he can’t communicate his needs to you, as soon as he starts talking he will not be so bad,” When he would cry and get upset it would take hours to calm him you could not just let him cry a little bit and then he would get over it, no you would have to carry him or sit with him if he would stay still and try to sing, try to feed him, giving him a bath seemed to settle him down the most. I was lost the doctor was not concerned yet she was not the one living it, we were and it had effected our 3 older kids at home very much no longer could we go do something as a family because Joshua could not handle it he would cry and scream. If he would nap we were always telling them be quiet do not wake up Joshua. They suffered so much because all the attention turned to Joshua and trying to keep him content, for this I have a hard time forgiving myself I feel the ages they were was a crucial bonding time and it was missed we were so busy trying to keep Joshua settled. Sometimes he loved to play with them, other times he would scream and I do mean scream if they came near him of course they would get so worried because if he screamed they knew we would be coming and we would not be happy that they may have disturbed him. They wanted so badly to play with their little brother but it just was not possible not normal at all. I was afraid and on edge what was wrong? I did not know, but my gut said it was something.
Five months later December my son 17 months old is still not walking, not talking, not sleeping. We have found an in home daycare provider whom I believe God sent to us for our precious boy. She was so caring, even as the years went by and taking care of him became so hard he was out of control and would disturb all of the kids and cry oh he would throw fits, and he wouldn’t take a nap, it was something yet he was also so sweet, so innocent, big beautiful blue eyes with blond curly hair, a deep laugh, if it was a good day, hour, or minute you saw the potential for this wonderful child. We saw much of that so it was hard to tell what would set him off. By the time he was 2 years old he had, had 14 ear infections. We put him on Lactose free milk and they stopped so we associated it with an allergy, made sense to us. He finally started walking at 20 months oh we were delighted! My first born was so easy never cried, always happy, walked at 10 months, talked a lot by his first birthday so I was definitely having issues as I was comparing the two boys and how different they were. I would just blame it on different fathers, trying my best to keep hoping and praying for the best as time went on. But as time went on his fits would get worse he would be so mad he started banging his head on the floor when he was upset and cry and cry. I started to think he must have hearing problems, so did the doctors by 2 ½ because he was only saying a couple of words and not very well so off we went for lots of testing but his testing came back perfect no problems. They did a few other tests on him and seemed a bit concerned that he did not engage as other children his age did or should. They sent out a person from their center on Fridays to our home she taught me how to use a cards system called PECS picture exchange communication, we got all these little laminated cards of foods, clothing, people, colors, and so much more and tried to teach him to take down the card to tell us what he needed it worked to an extent, she had us teach him sign language and that sparked his speech I remember teaching him shoes and socks and he got it immediately and said it perfect I was so excited I thought this is it he is going to start talking and finally calm down he will not get so frustrated because now he can tell us what he needs. He gained about 40 words in a two week stretch they discontinued his services as he was almost three and had met their goal. She said two words phrases would soon follow and he should do great. Well that did not happen, no 2 word phrases, he was just as frustrated as ever and I was scared really scared what on earth was going on I knew from the first hours of his life something was wrong, that cry it was just so different, and now 3 years later he was about a year and a half behind other children his age and getting harder to understand and control. What were we going to do?? That same month I found out I was pregnant again, I was devastated I was terrified I would have another child with issues that I could not understand nor help and I thought I was going to lose my mind, not to mention all the hormonal things us pregnant women go through and when I am pregnant I am sick the entire time from about 6 weeks and on so it is fair to say I was miserable and I was not the easiest person to be around. During this whole time our daycare provider kept encouraging us to have Joshua tested she was sure something was wrong, By the time Joshua was 3 ½ I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy Jacob he was fine from the first cry I could tell, I do not know how I could tell the difference between the two cries but instinctively I knew Jacob was healthy and fine! Two weeks later Joshua was evaluated by a neurologist who specialized in kids with neurological problems after waiting 1 ½ hours in a room he finally came in and started doing some testing with my son having him run up and down the hallway, clapping his hands, etc.. after about 25 minutes he said “well I can assure you he is not Autistic.” I was overjoyed the angels sang praise in my head and heart, he said “he does have ADHD though with some autistic traits, but we can calm him down with some meds and he should be fine” they also scheduled him for an MRI, a sleep study, and a EEG after the tests were done and supposedly all looked normal he put him on Adderal I had no true idea what it was. My son became a zombie, he cried out all of the time saying “my eyes, my eyes” he wiped at them constantly, he would not smile, laugh, or eat. He lost 10 lbs in one month it was horrific he was not our child anymore he was a shell , he had an empty look in his eyes. My husband and I agreed to take him of the drug as I had done a lot of research and I thought it was far to dangerous a drug and besides it made him worse. Within days of weaning him off of the medication he came back to us I was actually happy to see him acting the old way, my child was back, but in my mind I knew, I knew the truth but would not admit it.
The resources for children in Reno NV were very limited but finally we found a psychiatrist for little children it took us 4 months to get into an appointment. The day of the appointment my husband took him in I stayed at home with the baby, it was a few hours before they got home, I was so scared. Finally they got home and Joshua came running through the door and said the doctors name and “hi mommy!” then ran off into his room I was sitting on the left end of the sectional couch, my step son was sitting on the right end, my husband put down some stuff and sat in the middle of the couch and looked at me he said “Well the doctor said he has Autism” My head started to spin and I could not hear what else he was saying I felt in a fog I immediately started sobbing and said “are you sure, is he sure, how can he be sure?” I stated “Joshua smiles and laughs all of the articles I have read said they do not smile, that they do not hug.” My son hugged me all of the time maybe he did not always hug me back when I hugged him or he would turn his back to me while I hugged him but he would hug me. My husband cried he said “the doctor is 100% sure Lori” I really started to sob “oh God why oh my God he will never graduate school, he will never be on his own, never go to the prom, never get married, never drive, will he ever understand our love for him, will he ever have friends, how will people treat him?” I went on and on sobbing for a few hours until I could not cry anymore then I wanted a second opinion, I though he may have missed something we should at least give it a shot. It had been 1 year since the ADHD diagnosis and that doctor said he did not have Autism why would he say he did not if he did, how could this new doctor know for sure. But he did the tests needed to be done, I knew really deep down it was true I had thought it for awhile but would not give in to that being his issue, but it was really what would I do now for him where would we start? I said to my husband “I will never give up on him I will never stop loving him, and I never ever will put a label on him and think that this is it his life is over,” no it was just beginning a whole new world was right in front of us all unknown and I was scared and devastated but not broken. I gathered myself together went into my little ones room and sat down with him put him on my lap hugged him kissed his head about a hundred times and watched Elmo’s World and when he laughed it was like the first time I had ever truly heard it, and I cherished it my son could laugh it was beautiful to my ears and heart and I knew we were going to have a long road ahead of us but now was just the beginning oh and what a beginning it would be.

xoxoxoxoxoxo~~~~Lori

I am having a little trouble

2009-01-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

January 4th 2009
Like usual my computer and I are not seeing eye to eye, I am looking for the story I wrote that I spoke of earlier about Joshua's birth, I am having trouble finding it.
I hope to have found it and have it on by tomorrow night.....sorry I am trying :{
~~Lori

I had a realization moment...it moved me, just when I think I have accepted, I realize more....

2009-01-04T11:03:00.000-08:00

January 4th 2009
I am at work on my break, I pulled up this blog to see how it is looking, I have many christian songs that you can scroll through and pick one to listen to and some country music that inspires me to........the song that Gary and I had at our wedding over 8 years ago started playing (we had it playing while the bridesmaids, matron of honor etc walked down the isle) it is called
"FOR THE GLORY OF YOUR NAME" it is by Michelle Tumes #8 on the list.
It says in one part of the song:
"You have touched our lives forever, can we be the same again?"
Right at that moment I was just looking at Joshua's pictures on the right side just as I always do, scrolling down and when I got to the one where it says "Joshua 4 years old", he is wearing a white shirt and smiling looking so happy in his life, then I looked at the one that says "someone got into the powdered donuts" and I caught a look in his eye I never noticed before in that picture, like a little something was missing in him (he was only at most 3 years old in that picture)
Right then between those two pictures with those lyrics playing right at that moment I felt like Joshua has "touched my life forever" and looking at
the next picture " can we be the same again?"
It was like a light turned on, I was so sad because at the ages those pictures were taken we knew something was deeply wrong, I knew the night he was born as I have written before, (for those of you who do not know the full story I believe I have written about it in the past in my older blogs.....) but right now I can not remember...... I have the full story of that night written on my computer saved in a document because I always want to remember when Autism came into our lives even though I did not know what is wha at that time, and the experience that night, that I knew something was wrong. Tonight when I get home I am going to post that document I wrote and have saved so you all can read it, I want to share it with all of you.
Anyway....I felt sad right at that moment I mentioned above as a flood of memories hit me, thinking how during that time I was so frustrated and worried about my son, we did not know it was Autism......he was misdiagnosed in the first year it was "colic" and "allergic to normal formula use soy" (we did not know he was really allergic to the soy, how terrible for him!) the second and third years well "he is not talking and he is so frustrated that he can not tell you what is wrong so that is why he is screaming and crying all the time" "but once he talks he will be fine" then "well the ear infections he had for awhile delayed his speech" (hearing was checked two times, he had perfect hearing) Once he was three we started sign language and he learned immediately socks and shoes and he started talking! But he did not progress with his speech like we thought he would, just some words no sentences, and some of the things he was saying we had no idea what it was because it was just all garbled together. Then "well he is still so frustrated with his speech delay that is why he continues to cry, scream, and now hits his head on the floor or with his hand" use the PECS system (pictures to communicate) we did it he was so miserable, it was like he was so uncomfortable in his own skin, almost like he was sometimes out of his mind in a pain he could not express. Then at age 4 1/2 in February 2005 he was misdiagnosed as ADHD with some Autistic sign but "DEFINITELY NOT AUTISTIC." For a year he was treated with multiple medications for ADHD including Adderall which I feel would have killed him if we would not have stopped it on our own. Finally in January of 2006 he was diagnosed as Autistic with ADHD as a secondary...........................my world stopped, I stayed home with our baby the day of his appointment and my husband took him to the new doctor, after about 3 hours they came home, Joshua yelled "Hi mommy running in the front door and into his room," I looked at my husband I was sitting on the recliner part of our sectional he sat to the right about 2 ft. away from me looking at me and I remember saying "well?" and he said "The doctor said he is autistic, he has autism." I argued with him because I had read so much about autism he had many traits of autism but many of the other signs I had read about he did not have, he never stacked things up or placed them all in order in a line, he never just did one thing for hours and hours on end, never was intrigued by spinning items,...... so many signs he did not have! But so many he did! I cried and cried I said " he will never get married, never drive a car, never have children, never have a prom, etc... " (In the trailer to our documentary I am explaining these same feelings I had in the beginning to the camera, how I felt when we first found out.......... If you watch the documentary trailer (it is one of my first blogs on this site there is a link to it) it is still so painful me at that time to even talk about how I felt the first day I found out.........I do not limit Joshua anymore, but inside of me still hurts...........
So when I looked into his eyes in those pictures and those words were sung in the song, at the same time, I felt I let him down for almost 5 years, he was autistic and I didn't know and I could have done so much more early on, if only I would have opened my mind up more or not trusted those doctors...... and as the song says " YOU HAVE TOUCHED OUR LIVES FOREVER, CAN WE BE THE SAME AGAIN?"
He Joshua has touched my life and my husbands, some of our family live and some of them just ignore it.........
So yes he has touched my life forever FOREVER and NO we will never be the same again.... It almost felt like I just heard the words again "he is autistic" Now this is something I have been living for 3 years now (the diagnosis part) though it seems like many more.....and I think I accept Autism well, or Joshua well, but sometimes GOD reminds me and this morning I was reminded.....again....... But my biggest reminder is this and it is choking me up right now, tears in my eyes, wanting to cry but I am at work trying to hold myself together as I write this............ is that I am here for Joshua and my other children I am here to live Autism......I am not here to live a different life...........this is my life, my Joshua's life and my families life..........I have to do the very best for Joshua and all of my children............but the other kids understand that Joshua needs more........ and no matter what treatments I get for him, he may always be with me just the way he is, and even though every part of my soul wants changes for him, this may be just how he is, and that is OK.........it is OK...........he is autism.........I am autism..........my family is autism........ I want to give him everything I can to give him a shot to not become so upset, to not have his feeling hurt so easily, for him to have a coping mechanism, for him to be happy, to drive, to have children, to watch him go to prom with his girlfriend, to watch him become a husband....I will never stop trying healthy options to help him achieve those things............but I have to remember, GOD gave us Joshua he is the gift I so often speak of, and he also makes me appreciate so much in my life and appreciate for my other children that they have those chances that I spoke of above. Maybe my gift is Autism.....maybe it is..........I love Joshua no matter what autism or not, I love all of my children and I was given another gift today, one I have been given before many times,......... a reminder. I am honored and touched GOD would again take time to give me that gift over and over and not let me fall into the everyday grind of things and irritations, but to love me so much that he takes the time to remind me of something he has already told me many times, because I needed it and did not even realize it..........the way it touched me today, yes it made me sad in some aspect, but it also just gives me hope too............ I do not know how to totally explain it, but that's what it does, it just makes me right now want to be home with my children hearing the laughter, or the crying, hugging them, or laying with them in their beds watching a movie or saying our prayers. Now that I am working so much more it makes me feel like I am not seeing them enough, so I hug them even longer then I used to and smell their hair more often when they sit on my lap.....nothing like smelling your child's hair (unless they were rolling around in the dirt outside) my kids are my purpose, all of them, they each have a sparkle in their own way.........and instead of the inevitable question on a very bad day "why me?' I will continue to answer myself with "why not me?"
I am posting the words to the song I spoke of before when I heard it first back in 2000 I was planning our wedding and I played it over and over and I knew it had to be part of my wedding and it was and it was beautiful. Who would have known 8 years later I would play it again and another beauty was shown in it!! ~~~~Lori

FOR THE GLORY OF YOUR NAME by Michelle Tumes
God, You keep us without failing
As You watch us from above
In our comings and our goings
Sheltered by Your precious love
In the pouring rain of mercy
Comes the grace by which we're saved
For the glory of Your Name
For the glory of Your Name
You have touched our lives forever
Can we be the same again?
May our hearts be ever faithful
Ever faithful as a friend
Let us live that we may serve You
Overflowing with Your praise
For the glory of Your name
For the glory of Your name
We behold the Man of Sorrows
Hanging there upon a cross
Where we wounded One so holy
Yet these wounds are life to us
For the blood You shed was perfect
And You finished work we made
For the glory of Your name
For the glory of Your name

Oh the never ending work schedule......Joshua takes a nap?

2009-01-02T18:39:00.000-08:00

January 2nd 2009
So as you can see a rarity happened Joshua fell asleep during the day, on top of his medical glove balloon, kids I tell you they can fall asleep in any position....but this is a huge rarity for Joshua, he doesn't take naps no matter how hard we try to get him to, this is just one of those "occasions'

OK work went really well today no complaints, so that is good. When I call home and talk on the phone to Joshua for about the last past 2 weeks he has not used any movie talk with me when I ask him a question, I do not know if this is from the stem cell treatment or not, I truly believe in 6+ months from now I will be able to write confidently about any changes I may see and I will be able to say "yes this must be a change due to the stem cell injections" with the way he has acted the last couple of times we tried to go to the store I would be like "whoa now" (if I didn't understand the lengthy process of the cells) shouldn't this change overnight?? But no I do not think that because I know it will take a long time for healing, nothing heals overnight, I have a friend who's sister got stem cell injections in both of her knees over 6 months ago down in Mexico and slowly the cartilage is regrowing BUT the fact of the matter is IT IS REGROWING!!

"Patience Lori, Patience" that is what I have to tell myself everyday more then once, because you just want the changes to happen immediately, but...... you have to remember healing takes time, regrowth takes time, time, time, time! But oh how I wish the anxiety attacks he has would just disappear NOW! I am impatient that is no revelation, but like I have to keep projecting "In GODS time" give it time. But you look at your son screaming and yelling and your saying in your head "oh I hope I made the right decision spending all of that money on the stem cells" but I tell you what I will say it again, if nothing changes I will be at peace in my heart about the choice to have him go through the treatment, if I had the chance and did not take it I would always be thinking "what if I would have done it and it helped him?" You just have to take the chances, God made it possible for us to take Joshua there and we took it. No regrets not one at all! Plus like I said I see glimpses of other things in him that I think are changing a bit but I will not say "oh the stem cells did it" not this early in the game. A man who went to..... I believe Sweden or Holland took his daughter with Cerebral Palsy to a clinic for stem cells, for one full year they saw nothing, but after a year to the day she began to crawl up the stairs on her own, her MRI'S began to have less and less white matter (white matter shows the damage in the brain) I have not been in touch with him for months but last we talked he forwarded me the last MRI results and at that time she was beginning to walk and had some speech breaking through and she finally could hold up her head, that all happened around the two year mark she was then 9 years old. She had never walked and never ever could hold her head up at all, she had a neck stabilizer for years, last I knew she no longer needed that stabilizer. For months he was in anguish that he had spent their savings on this treatment and it "didn't work" he was devastated and now look at the results, I once asked him if he now regretted it? He said "The first 11 months yes, but now if she doesn't progress any more I know what I did was right for her and now she actually has some freedom to move about she is not just sitting in her special wheelchair wasting away, I do not regret it at all." I was very touched by that (of course) and admired him for not expecting her to heal 100%, that he was just so happy for what she did get out of it.

I pray in one year I can say what changes we see, and that they are consistent and real and I can say Stem Cells did that, God did this, he made it possible for this chance.

Will I just sit here and do nothing else for Joshua and just wait on the stem cells? No. I want to move forward with other healthy treatments. Nothing that will effect the stem cells in anyway, you have to be very careful what you do after the Stem Cell Treatment, my friend Daniel Faiella is the whiz at this information, man that guy is a genius on the realm of stem cells and autism treatments and when and how to do them. I will start Joshua on the Colloidal Silver but not for 3 months after his treatment, thanks to Daniel for that information!! Otherwise I would have probably used it and damaged the cells or purged them from the body.

Tonight Joshua is great he is laughing and being very silly (he still is only like a three year old, but his speech has slowed down a bit he is not rambling all of his words together quickly, he is not using movie talk to communicate like he has for the last 3 years. He is playing on his own much more and spending quite time with himself, entertaining himself. I love that, but I really, really pray his anxiety and screaming attacks will subside, those hinder him and everyone around him so much, it can ruin his whole day along with ours, it is so physically and mentally tiring and as he gets older and bigger he gets much louder and more defiant. It is so strange because he is such a sweet boy, he is very caring and he always want hugs and kisses, very friendly too and smart you can lay 40 toys on the floor pick them all up and then them lay them back out and keep just one out (all of this without him watching) and he will tell you one is missing, he reads like crazy he just knew how to read, and much more....but then you have this other side of him that impedes his daily activities it is unbelievable, but that is autism right keeps you guessing or at least keeps me guessing!

I just want people to know a school for Autistic children will be opening in S. Nevada in the fall of 2009 "The Achievement Academy" here is the link to a YouTube video about it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_W_obNhzsU

Check it out this is an amazing move for Nevada as we are pretty far behind compared to the East Coast and what they have to offer our children academically. I will keep you all posted about the progress this school is making. Keep them in your prayers that they become very successful for the children!!

Well I have rambled enough, I have to go spend some time with the kiddos before they fall asleep.

This is one of my most favorite times of my life, when I get to lay beside them before bed we giggle, talk, pray, and just have a nice time winding down.

May all of you be able to wind down tonight and have a wonderful sleep ~~~~till later~~ Lori

An article about Stem Cells and about our day, man what a day.....

2009-01-01T20:09:00.000-08:00

January 1st 2009 HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Below is an article from the Journal of Translational Medicine.

One of the authors is from the clinic we went to in Costa Rica ICM.

This is one of the first articles I ever read about stem cells, and this is the form of treatment Joshua has received, exactly 1 month ago today he had his first appointment and had the catheter placed. I think this article may be informational to some, like I have stated before I am not endorsing everything written as truth this is for informational purposes only. :}

http://www.translational-medicine.com/content/5/1/30

Well everyone I will be working the next 4 days straight with only Tuesday off, then I work three more days in a row. I will be on and off of here trying to keep ya'll up to date, but try to understand if I miss a couple days, I do not always have access to a computer to write and by the time I get home at night all I want to do is take a shower and lay down with my kiddos.

Today we went to the store and bought some gluten free items for Joshua, as you know he is allergic to cane sugar and some different flours so it is hard to feed him exactly as his allergies read, and the effects are bad for all involved if he eats the wrong things. We order beat sugar

off of the Internet, and buy a special flour for baking items for Joshua. We buy rice bread he is not big on it, he has a reaction to rice also just not as bad a regular bread that does have wheat flour and sugars in it. Gary bakes stuff that he can enjoy without the allergy reactions for him. The closest we can stay to keeping him away from the foods he reacts to, the happier he is.

We have not started using the Alpha-Stim 100 yet for his therapy as today is my only day off, it will be on my next day off that I can really read everything about the treatment and how to use it correctly. So I will not be reporting on that until next week.

We have been contacted by the Founder of a very large wellness center in California, they treat many disorders and the way they do it is brilliant, we will be able to see all the way down to his neurons and watch how they react or do not react we will be able to see the total deficits in his body (what works what doesn't) this form of imaging is AMAZING and groundbreaking, this company has the patent on the equipment and people from all over come to this center to get treated. After Joshua is seen there I will write all about them, right now I have no true information on them from experience so I do not want to start something and it is not beneficial. It is not to expensive for the first 5 tings they do under $2,000.00 but follow up supplements are needed but they are economical too (one being Colloidal Silver). For the thorough testing they do I am thrilled like I said they do 5 different forms of testing, by the time we are done we will know everything about Joshua's body and system and how well it is working and we will then be able to go back and see with our own eyes with the imaging how the supplements and treatment are working (of course that is an additional cost). This is a no guess work therapy, we can follow each step with the imaging, but each imaging session takes about one and a half hours so the hard part is trying to keep Joshua fairly still, but we are able to be right with him and he can watch videos too. I am not trying to be secretive but I do not believe in endorsing anything unless I know everything about it. I have spoken with the founder and he is offering some of the treatment free for Joshua as Joshua will be part of a tracking study but the rest we will pay for as I seem to understand it. I have taken two days to really research everything and I believe this is a great follow up post stem cell treatment, I believe the two in conjunction with each other can be totally amazing, I wish we could have gotten the full body imaging before we went to Costa Rica so we could have seen the before and track the after, but that is OK.

Again we tried to go to a few stores today as I said above and again Joshua had a fit it was awful, Gary had to take him to the truck and Jacob and I finished shopping, but in the truck he kept on going no matter what we did, I finally said pull the car over and took him out into an empty parking lot and let him jump around and we started to laugh and got his mind changed around a bit (mine too), if I had not did that I felt like my head was going to pop off, I felt like I could just start yelling out and screaming myself, I felt stressed, I felt like I could loose my mind (this is after at least 20 minutes of his yelling and crying and he kept yelling at our little one Jacob too) when I said loudly "pull the car over I knew I needed to do something or I was going to crack, I bet many of you may know the feeling. I do not mind telling you how I felt because I did not let it get to a negative state, I got out of the car and opened Joshua's door he was giving me a really weird look because he has never had us pull over the car and tell him to "come on lets get out" just to walk around....Gary and Jacob stayed in the truck and after about 3-4 minutes Joshua and I were able to get back into the car. If I had not done it he would have continued on his rampage, and we would have just gotten more and more stressed, then we would have had to go straight home and not finish our errands. It was a good judgement call for me, usually I just stifle my stress and it just builds, but as soon as I stepped out of the truck and took him out I felt a huge relief and all of the stress left I hugged him hard and told him how much I loved him and that I was sorry he was having a hard time, we held hands and walked down a little ways to some empty store fronts, we looked at ourselves in the windows and jumped around a bit, I am sure if anyone would have seen us they would have really thought we were crazy. I think Gary took some video of us on his cell phone or tried to, I have not asked him yet, if he did maybe I will post it here. Anyway we were able to go to the second store without him "losing it" then for the first time ever I called my mom and asked her if she would take both boys for an hour or so, so that Gary and I could grab some lunch and decompress a bit. She took them no problem, we went and ate Chinese food talked about Joshua and what we would love to see happen with the stem cells of course, and about how are lives are affected all of our lives Joshua's included. We ate with no interruptions then went and picked them up, it was a nice break very much needed and now I am ready for another day.....one day at a time right??

I will tell you this I was a bit hurt in the store as my Joshua is very very friendly and loving, he says hi to almost everyone he sees he says "hi, hi," and waves if they respond he says "whats your name?, how old are you?" and most of the time before they can answer he says "Joshua I'm fine" then he will ask their name again, most people talk back to him and they smile and remark how friendly he is. But then you get the sour puss people who flip their noses in the air to him or smirk, but today he saw a boy about 10 years old and we were walking in the store Joshua was holding my hand, he looked at the boy and waved he said "hi................hi" the little boy crinkled up his face and gave him a dirty look and looked the other way, it was sad.... Joshua said "he didn't say hi" he said it as a question to me, I just said "no he didn't but that is OK." The boy heard him they were only about 3 ft. away from each other and Joshua is not the quietest child in the least, so I saw the glimpse of what is to come, as children get older (if they are not aware of a situation or have not been taught to be nice to everyone no matter what their disability may be" they react in a negative matter. I tried not to let it hurt me, but it gave me a lump in my throat, how can anyone, any age smirk at such a sweet boy as Joshua or any of our children?? My husband said it is like you have to put a sign on our child's head for people to look past the quirkiness and understand him and that my friends is the sad part, why should we have to do that, why if someone is not hurting anyone but is a little different they are snubbed or ignored??? It makes me want to just jump up and down and yell "what is wrong with you??? My child said hi to you 5 times do you think you could take 5 seconds and acknowledge him??" But that is society, it is not alright by me and that is why I love to inform people, I really would like to go to the schools, all grades and show them a video, like the Autism Everyday documentary or one of Joshua himself, talk about it to them and then bring Joshua in and introduce them to him so they can see a live child in front of them and see past the issues maybe..... and maybe they will think twice the next time they point out another child or adult who is different then them and laugh or make fun of them...... just give them some knowledge let them talk to Joshua, see how funny he can be, and how big his heart is, and maybe it will touch their heart.... I think it is important...to plant the seed you know.... to give everyone the chance they deserve.... to give understanding instead of the fear of the misunderstood or unknown.

OK I better go I have to get to bed or I will yawn all day tomorrow and I do not need that.

Goodnight and God Bless all of you~~~~Lori

2008-12-30T15:31:00.000-08:00

December 30th 2008

Here is my precious boy Joshua yesterday, he is trying on his John Deer Gear he got for Christmas from his Papaw and Gramaw in Oregon. You know Oregon is John Deer Country. He wore the beanie for awhile and then gave up on it, said "it is itching my head"

Yesterday was a beautiful day with Joshua he was so calm and he played by himself for close to an hour in the den he was very quite and entertained himself quite nicely watching Play House Disney, now those of you that have been with me for over a year know what a Disneyland buff he is, (aren't most kids his age though?) I mean he would go every single day of his life if he could at least at the point he is at right now. My dream is that someday he will take his own children there. Now that is a big dream but hey if your going to dream, dream big right? Heck I would live there too if I could and I am 39 years old!! He would love Disney World, I know him and Jacob would just go crazy there. But with everything that has happened with losing our jobs and our home it is going to take a few year to catch back up. But in the mean time I will continue in my hope for him and one day taking him and Jacob back there or even better Disney World. Time shall tell, but treatments come first..............

On our website I have placed a three part video of the documentary "Autism Everyday" that is a good video. I wish there were more like it. As we all know many of our kids can be almost "normal" one minute and absolutely going off the deep end the next. That video definitely show some of the deep end experience for sure.

Well I am at work right now on my 15 minute break and of course had to use my time and doodle around on here.

You know I have to say this, to those of you who have younger children like I do that are developing more "normally" do you ever get that heart break inside that says "wow, he is passing up his brother or sister who has autism" ? Just wondering because I do, I watch Jacob who will be 4 in February now he does have some speech delay but everything else is right on base and watching him develop like he should and pass up my 7 year old sure can be joyful (because we SO want that for our kids) and heartbreaking at the same time, because I think how it could be with Joshua if he developed that same way. BUT I am not giving up he has had the stem cell treatment and anything can happen with GOD so I have to remember all things are possible. But sometimes I do go off to that place of "what ifs" (you know I have talked about this before) or "if only", but those are just little day dreams I want to concentrate on the reality of it all. Sometimes it is easy, hard, or devastating...just depends.

I have added a bit more information on the Nevada help link and I have added a page along with the 2009 scholarship page........ on it is a free download to a manual written by us and 2 other people showing others how to get a fundraiser together and of course some other things. It is an eBook and it is free if you would like to download it, or tell someone else about it. Maybe it can help you out or someone you know out in raising money for their child, school, or organization. So check it out......... not much is free these days yah know?!?

Well shoot I will just add the links here so you do not have to travel all over blog world to get the information here they are:

MANUAL:

http://worldthinktank.net/autism-Fundaising-eBook_1.htm

FORM, FLYERS, ETC:

http://www.worldthinktank.net/pdfs/1-Appendix-I-Autism-eBook.pdf

Love ya all, back to work I go hi ho hi ho ~~~Lori

Some reading material and my thoughts....again

2008-12-29T19:54:00.000-08:00

December 29th 2008
Here are some reports coming out of Christian Newspapers and magazine about Adult Stem Cells, and their support of them. The third one is from a Catholic News report.
The last one has a large amount of articles of many different reports on stem cells and people who have received them. I have not read them all, I have read some they have promise, if any are negative I am sorry I did not see those.
Now none of these that I have read is directing anything towards Autism, I am just posting these so people can see the support that is starting out there, it is slow coming, it should already be in use here in the US (my opinion)
But this is just some articles I found quite interesting.
I do not have a view one way or another this is strictly for informational purposes I do not endorse nor claim the articles to be factual by my evaluation, just information please research for yourself and come to your own conclusions. I do not need any nasty grams over them, you do not have to read them if you do not want to.....Thanks xoxoxox
But I will say this, we as parents need to push for this type of treatment to be studied on Autistic patients here in the US, now! Not in 5, 10, or 15 years .......now is the time, to many are being affected by this pandemic as we have said before if 1 out of every 150 children were being born without any fingers or toes they would be all over this, but because most of the children look normal they keep trying to sweep it under a rug or make us think they are concerned. This needs to happen now, it is time for a million mommy and daddy march in D.C. It is time to step out of the box, throw down our be nice flags and get up, take a stand. The technology is there, it is in other countries being used as treatment.............but not here??
Educate as many people as you can, knock on doors, write letters, sing songs, whatever makes people listen and let them know there is something that has huge potential for our kids to begin a healing process, or a least give them a shot at a more calmer life, one that can give them social skills so they can survive on their own in society.
If something is no longer "unethical" (cells can be used from Umbilical Cord Blood not Embryos) then what is the hold up?? Is it the drug companies (?) the ones that are gaining Billions of dollars on the poisons they have us give our children daily just so they do not hurt themselves, or so they can sleep, or just semi-function.... these drugs do not heal our kids they pacify for awhile and at the same time some will atrophy the frontal cortex of the brain in our kids, their livers are going to be damaged beyond repair and the side effects alone are frightening, I know because my child is on medication, but these are not the answer they are a bandage on a huge crack in a dam that eventually is going to break wide open and who knows the devastating effects it will have in the end.
Learn about Adult Stem Cells, make sure you have the right information on them the last thing you want to do is spread a theory that is bogus, the truth is easy with these cells, it is a simple answer to many things, it is from our own bodies.... not a pharmacy and if given the chance I believe a multitude of diseases and disorders can be improved if not cured.
Why should I have to fly thousands of miles away from home to get an ETHICAL treatment for my child?? If this is a Free Country then where is the freedom for my child to have a treatment that has huge potential?
Enjoy your reading and do not give up...... never give up, I can get to the very last second right when I think I am going to break and give up and then I hear my child laugh and I am back in it big time, this is not about me it is about Joshua and every other person effected by Autism. We all get a little crazy sometimes, feel like giving up, get angry, get sad or depressed take medication ourselves to get through the day, week, months, years.....but we are here doing it! Keep talking to people do not shut down, tell people how your feeling, if you feel no one wants to listen write me I will listen to you and I will support you in anyway I can, you (we) are not alone listen to my play list the song "My Redeemer Lives" is an uplifting spiritual song that brings tears to my eyes. I know my Redeemer lives and if my son is not healed on this Earth I know he will Dance in Heaven with Jesus and he will be healed, all of our children will, I know this because "My Redeemer Lives" and he said so..... in Heaven no more tears, no more sickness we will rejoice together with our wonderful children our wonderful gifts we have been given. It is OK to get down, to feel sad, to want to give up, but do not let it win IT can't our kids need us, they need us to fight for them because if we do not who will??
Good Night all and All My Love to you All ~~~Lori

http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/211254825.html

http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=26165

http://news.christiansunite.com/Religion_News/religion07844.shtml

http://www.christiantoday.com/article/catholic.leaders.back.adult.stem.cell.research/18965.htm

http://www.stemcellnews.com/articles.htm

The video..........

2008-12-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

December 29th 2008
So as you see in the video at the very bottom from yesterday Joshua really was upset, it started because the window was down behind him and he got so upset, and then he really got mad because Jacob was humming a song. All in all it was just a bad trip to the store. But that is something that can happened daily multiple times a day, it does not happen as often now but many times it tends to happen in the car.
Now today he is so happy talking about anything and everything he can, he has cried a bit today only because he hurt himself. He was actually calling Jacob to come and play, usually it is the other way around and a lot of the time Joshua tells him "no thank you Jacob, I don't want to" or "leave me alone Jacob" but today he was actually the one initiating it, they played pretty much all day together pretending they are "Diego" saving each other from falling in the water, they are chasing each other all over the place and laughing there heads off. Right now they are in my huge bath tub, they love that tub it is HUGE not just a garden tub but a three person hot tub size (but no jets) they love playing in there, most of the time they get along but sometimes boy they can get mad at each other and then they start yelling (never hitting) and screaming I just grab my head and shake it saying "please stop" in my head some days it doesn't bother me but other days I feel like I am going to lose my mind, but I just have to reel myself in and remember to keep it together. If I think its to much for me I am calling my husband to take care of them and I leave the room. I am not perfect, I can not take all of the hyperactivity and yelling I have hard times, I think sometimes I am going to throw myself off a cliff, but obviously I haven't done it yet usually just when I am at my last straw I pray and GOD gives me strength and everything just turns around, I am human I am not perfect, I would never hurt or yell at my kids it is not their fault autism has came into our lives they are just a part of it like the rest of us.
I will tell you this it is only a few weeks since the stem cell injections, but Joshua has always had big beautiful blue eyes but lately they have been almost clearer I really do not know how to explain it, but they look at me with even more understanding, it almost sends chills down my spine when he looks at me because it is like he is looking into me now, and I do not mean sending chills down my spine in a bad way but in a heart touching was. But that is just me............
Ta-ta xoxoxoxo ~~~~Lori

Yeah a new and improved Mommies blog one that doesn't erase my posting!!!

2008-12-28T17:32:00.000-08:00

December 28th 2008
Hi everyone and welcome to the new and improved Mommies Blog!! All about Joshua our 7 year old Autistic son and our whole family. I am going to slowly cut and paste all of my old blogs to this site, I will have to start I think by going backwards, it will probably take me weeks but it will get done.
We should be receiving Joshua's Alpha -Stim 100 device tomorrow for his combined microcurrent (MET) and cranial electrotherapy stimulator (CES) therapy. Today is a bad bad day for Joshua we went to Wal-Mart and we had an experience of many but I caught some of his crying for in the car after leaving Wal-mart on my cell phone video recorder. I am going to post some of it on here during this week, so instead of seeing my son smiling in pictures and thinking
"he looks normal" you will see some of his pain. We of course have hours of footage from over the years I want to get it edited and place it on here.
For those of you who did not know we have a documentary that is partially done the trailer to it is at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3vXrMu0wZs
if you would like, someday it will be finished NOW JUST REMEMBER as I have stated before when Gary and I are expressing statements about Joshua we were asked to explain how we felt when we first found out that Joshua indeed did have Autism, these are not our feeling now they were only expressions when we first found out and did not understand Autism at all after about a week those feelings disappeared and out came Mama and Papa Bear here to protect their cub and all the others like him.
Currently the bill for Nevada to pass a law to mandate that insurance companies cover children with Autism is awaiting for the next session to be presented it is 2 years of long hard work and we are so happy to be a part of ACON who has fought so hard for our kids here in Nevada! Our hats go off to all those involved and especially to Ralph and Meredith Toddre the Founders of ACON, (they have since moved on from ACON but have left it in great hands Toni Richards! and Mike Sanderfer!!) to be able to concentrate soley on the government level and thank to the Obama camp for really stepping up and supporting this bill and helping out, amazing truly amazing!
Love to all and God Bless ~~ Lori